Humility

Who i want to be when i grow up

And then one day you meet this person.
This person whose aura radiates pure selflessness.You are drawn closer and closer to their inner being.You want to soak in the steam of their purity.Want to mosturize your inner being with the untainted virtue of their collectedness,of their tamed tongue,of their gentleness.You want to blanket your cold soul with their think tank,take in all their wisdom,let it go viral,
This person gently touches your soul with the presence of their being.No speech.No words.Just altruistic motives.An unadulterated human being.You want to sync in with their vibe.Hashtag yourself to the definition of their being.
Whats their label?

# Humility!

You want to carry it like a Louis Vuitton bag.

Proud.

Like its your most prized possession.Like its your only possession worthy of being shown off.

Humility!

You want to taste this life,of not looking down on anybody.
Taste humility.Lick it before it melts away.Let the memory savour long enough,you can tell your great grandchildren how good a lick of humility can be way after the coldness has evaporated from your soul.
Crunch on its core teaching.Lick humility like a kid eating their first ice cream cone.With great fascination.Enjoying every bite,of humility.

Humility

Priceless!

You gape in awe.In flabbergasted wonder.In total disbelief.Wondering if truly a person this good does really exist.You try to fault find this HUMAN being.

You Search and search,phoraphoring the corners of their soul,peeping into the window of their desires for that one dirting spot.Could a human BEING be this blameless? Be this spotless?

When it hits you,it hits you hard.You shout Euraka! Eureka! ,i got it,I got it,''i have been trying to find a needle in a haystack,''you say.
You accept.Some of God's angels walk the face of the earth and we without eyes think we walk besides humans.

Perhaps this human being is the rasta guy at the end of your street,trying to make ends meet,through honest means.

Perhaps This guy is the driver giving his all,feeding his toddler kids through his lunch hour with his meagre means.

Perhaps This guy is the Mmamochachose lady braaing meat,under the hot summer heat, every single day on her feet,singing to the tune of her own heartbeat.

Perhaps This guy is your maid,who gives you all her aid,without being paid .

Perhaps This guy is the nurse,the doctor,the teacher,the cook,the waiter,the hairdresser,the driver,the mother,the carpenter,the security guard,the pump attendant,the politician,the councillor,the pastor,the sister,the brother,the classmate,the church mate,the beer buddy,the father,the guy, you always pass on your street.

Perhaps the greatness you have been searching for has been right beside you all along.

Perhaps Who i want to be when i grow up; is The greatness walking beside me all along

Depression

When the coffin was laid in her daughter's grave 
she left with the daughter she could not save

i obsessed on how long it took
 for life to return 
to the walking dead 

I had never seen a face so dressed in grief
a massacre of guilt for a life so brief 

I had never seen a woman,so finished with life
 a woman once brave 
holding her ache between her porous fingers
bent down by her soul's weight

i thought her whole being would start to pour,to bleed
it scoured my insides clean
hollowed me for years
to see her  sparkle wither 
her bones give way

When the sun in our sky refuses to shine
and our hope has been melted down to nothingness
when our reflection isn't something we can stand to look at 
and we have clawed the Gods for answers for our dead sons and daughters
woken up with dawn only to crumble with fatigue 
when food ceases to  taste 
and we do not hear the words anymore
'eat,eat,stay alive'
and we do not live the words anymore

when our souls become echoing halls
empty empty 
we learn sorrow is the hardest season
so much is wilting
 tears are falling 
 but no amount of falling 
falling on the ground can get us to fall asleep 

When we only hear  the words
you could have done better 
you could have done better
you could have

we should know we need to let go
God knows we do

We all have our reasons for forgetting to breathe!

and I wonder
 if Jehovah held his breath
the first time his fingers touched your mould
the same way your  mother held her breath
the first time she set her eyes on your soul

We all have our reasons
 for forgetting to breathe!

So when you leave me for dead
i don't wanna cry foul 
I want you to know

I said ,'tell me everything you know!'

She said

''Being you can hurt
being you can hurt sometimes
But its the only thing that you know''


Your heart is never closing
Your warmth is never fading
your soul is ever giving
your eye is ever shining

i been watching you
i been spying from a safe place

i been watching you
sunning someone's cold

you should have seen her face
you should have seen his face

But i want to catch your fever 


I want the scratch in my throat
to forever hold you on a pedestal

being watching you bend a knee
being watching you break your back
 for her
for him


When they ask 
why your spine obeys gravity

tell them you are a seam 
that holds everything together

Being you can mend a heart
Being you can heal

Your heart is never closing
Your warmth is never fading
your soul is ever giving
your eye is ever shining



That night 
when you talked to me
you left a soothing poem in my mouth, 
and you can see some of the lines 
every time  your eyes settle here

That night 
when you talked to me
you left a soothing poem in my mouth
You have been a constant here

Be a constant here
Be my favorite hiding place
Be an open safe
pinky swear
to keep  everything safe

We all have our reasons
 for forgetting to breathe

Collection of my favorite quotes :)

'Our anxiety does not come from thinking about the future, but from wanting to control it.'''You are only restrained by the limitations of your own thoughts rather than by external circumstances. Give yourself new options by simply opening your mind.''"Love is absolute loyalty. People fade, looks fade, but loyalty never fades."''maybe,there was a time in our lives where we wanted to fit in, but now we need to learn how to stand out as individuals.'' Remember that YOU are your greatest asset. An asset that will not appreciate naturally with time, but will appreciate as you develop yourself, enhance your abilities and pursue your passions. Stay inspired, challenged and motivated as you tap into your potential.If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile''And it explains why when love comes in its purest form, you almost don’t want it,Because it seems to be like a candleSomething must burn in-order for it to give light'' "We should never become despondent because the weather is bad, nor should we turn triumphalist because the sun shines." “Those who complete the course will do so only because they do not, as fatigue sets in, convince themselves that the road ahead is still too long, the inclines too steep, the loneliness impossible to bear and the prize itself of doubtful value.”  ''Strive not to be a success,but to be of value.''
Be a yardstick of quality. Some people aren't used to an environment where excellence is expected.The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.You can never cross the ocean until you have the courage to lose sight of the shore. –Christopher ColumbusThere's a reason I said I'd be happy alone. It wasn't 'cause I thought I'd be happy alone. It was because I thought if I loved someone and then it fell apart, I might not make it. It's easier to be alone, because what if you learn that you need love and you don't have it? What if you like it and lean on it? What if you shape your life around it and then it falls apart? Can you even survive that kind of pain? Losing love is like organ damage. It's like dying. The only difference is death ends. This? It could go on forever.Meredith

Our lives are built on our mistakes as much as our successes.Ellis
''Throw me to the wolves and  will come back leading the pack.'' Anon
TBC

Thank you

So today i call my dad and he is the first person to call me Dr Wada,he is ecstatic and so am I. I can now finally answer the question,when are you coming home with a little certainty,thanks to all those who prayed for me,God saw me through,thanks to my friends who also happen to be my classmates and study buddies.. who pushed me to work when i didn't want to--Tsa Kalahi crew,i wouldn't be here without you,my house mate and now sister from another mother,Tshidi,you are such a blessing love,my mom-i cannot explain what you have been to me this years--you are my hero,my dad--dad thanks for believing in me when i didn't,Mbi--your prayers bro...my whole extended family--cousins--aunts--uncles--my best friend--who cannot be named here :) Mr S,wherever you are,thanks,ke leletse mo go wena ngwana wa batho.Mr Harrynaryn lol...the buff does work with extra tears boy,and yep that exam was a myomectomy screw

It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return.

It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return. But what is more painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let that person know how you feel. 

Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right ones, so that when we finally meet the right person we will know how to be grateful for that gift. 

Love is when you take away the feeling, the passion and the romance of relationship and find out you still care for that person.

A sad thing in life is when you meet someone who means a lot to you, only to find out in the end that it was never meant to be and you just have to let go.

When the door of happiness closes another opens but often times we look so long at the closed door but we don't see the one which has been opened for us.
The best kind of friend is the kind you can just be with.. never say a word and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.

It is true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it but it is also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they love you back. Don't expect love in return, Just wait for it to grow in their heart, but if it doesn't, be content it grew in yours!

There are things you'd love to hear, that you will never hear from the person whom you'd like to hear them from. But don't be so deaf as not to hear it from the one who says it from their heart.

Never say goodbye if you still want to try. Never give up if you still feel you can go on. Never say you don't love a person anymore if you can't let go.

Love comes to those who still hope, although they have been disappointed, to those who still believe, although they have been betrayed, to those who still need to love, although they have been hurt before and to those who have courage and faith to build trust again.

It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, a day to love someone but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.

Don't go for looks, they can deceive you; don't go for wealth even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make dark days seem bright. Hope you find the someone that makes you smile.

Author unknown

Femy II

Looking from afar, it’s a little innocent river .A youthful unexperienced virgin of a river.
Those who have been around in not so near ancient times say, it is a harlot .I do not
believe them. What do they know? They are still sprouting. Harlots do not like dealing
with feelings like that river does. Do no ask me how I know. I know, okay! Do not mine
for answers whose truths you cannot handle.
You never really know how deep this twisting cascading river runs, until you take a
close look when it calms. You open a window in your own soul. Look at your own grief.
Look at your own reflection. You claim it. You own it. Every debt it has ever come with.
You see things in that river that can only be seen in things that run that deep. You see
ripples, of sorrow. You see how ripping far and wide your sadness traverses when you
let yourself go.
This beautiful land is stifling. Its gravity dependants are stifling. The despondent state is
stifling and your sadness keeps travelling in circles, stifling like its orbiting your life and
you are some sort of holy king. You could be a king if they allowed it. But here, kings
ought to have queens.
You wonder when exactly this rule started. Who started it? If ever you meet him or her,
you will give him or her a piece of your mind. Serve him or her a platter of your
bitterness. Cut him or her a steak saucy enough to never ever want to go back for more
rules like that. These rules, are they written down in some tablet too, was it handed
down at Mt Sinai too? If only you still had your bible and you could GPS your way to that
truth, you would. Where is it anyway? Some bits did not go down the drain that night did they?
It’s a vague memorabilia sticking from the smoky silhouette of her, passing you bits of torn soft fluff through the toilet door, down your back. Wiping from front to back, like you were taught your kind has to wipe. In the dim candle light, you let go, with a strain, pushing down all of the things you no longer needed. Things you had digested long enough to know with absolute certainty you no longer wanted.

The bible, the beginning, the middle, the end. But you only have the middle. You never know if it will end, how it will end, with whom it will end. Was it something you were fated for? Do we really have a choice? I do not think we do. It is all chance. All chance that you were born you; wherever you are born, to whomever you are born, the way you are born, liking the things that you were born to like. Why do you like the things that you do? I just like. I tried once. To like things you wanted me to like. It was not the same sort of like. It is a like that still leaves your belly hungry, like your intestines are punched inside. Will you to try like what I like and see how that goes, mmh? But what do I know, I’m just me. Lost.

When you stall your search for a queen, people stop to ask, are you really fine. Like really really fine. You say, yes you are fine. That is what people say. Even when they are not really really fine. They just say so, so that people can leave them alone. These people though, they have not met Privacy or Respect-My-Space. Soon, they will meet Boxing-gloves, and My-temper-can-burn-bridges-you-know. You can be all those things...