if i had to chose all over again,i would still chose you

That evening they dished generous headlines about you on my plate. I pretended to have an appetite. Garetshwarekathaa  as you would know,  could not resist the temptation. That woman-man  I’m certain, was once part of a Guerrilla war. The way ‘she’ does not wince when delivering such kind of news! God only knows if she truly is a woman. The sharpness and lack of sensitivity and her choice of wording-I tell you-she is  a soldier from World war III, heartless I tell you.Even a soldier from world war III  would spare a sleeping  enemy’s eyes the sight of horror of an impending  death.Kill me with my eyes closed,not in the sight of others if you must.But not her,she just had to let her bag of a mouth go loose  in front of all those people.And she knew ,John.She knew what the words would do to me. She knew.Anyway I was still telling you, that night I swallowed ever y bit of the news in chunk sized gulps. I could not bite, chew, digest or even stomach the little that managed to hit my gut.I sincerely do not know how  I managed to make my way out of that crowd.That we-want-to-see-you-down-gossip-monger-stinking heavier than fish scent crowd.But I did.We always told ourselves words except from our own mouths would never tear us apart  John.Do you remember?

I remember a lot of things about you John. Even things you begged me to forget.Even things I wanted to forget like the disappearing mist you were John.But every morning I would open my eyes,and there, you would be there.

That night I squirmed at the coldness in my heart. My eyes were thawing at the edges, spilling like an over flowing Nile bank, except that for this river building up, no one would quench their dry hungry throats with. Like a sentinel in patrol,I watched the sun rise and  sink as my heart bolted  in revolt. Consistently, I rocked my body in tune to the ticking seconds, hoping this precious thing they called time would come and leave with some of the loneliness that hung around my face like flies at a gate crushed party of cowdung and rotting garbage.There was  something about the smell of sweat that sent me back to June 8^th.

Maybe it had to do with the way I had rubbed the sweat off your eyebrows.How for the first time I had taken a peep into your eyes.How I knew without being told what a special  child you must have been John.How you had longed for someone to look at you with their eyes popping in delight.The sun and I we had to stay together.If it sunk and I did not sink in to the confines of those loveless walls my world would dim with the setting of the sun.So I watched my watch patiently John,waited  for you to reach in time.But then your eyes had taken the hurry out of me,and I had stared to my heart’s content.

And when you held out your calloused hand,the lateness evaporated with the anger,and I melted.I lost parts of me I didn’t recognize.The ant infested bench became so comfortable and that day we chatted about this and that.We imagined the football squad we would have in the future.We talked about the future.The future.It had a certain kind of comforting ring that made me want to spell it out over and over again.Our future.

John I still think of that ring when I think of our future.sometimes,I  see you bowing on one leg,my hand outstretched.Sometimes I see our dining room table and  fourteen plates  and our hungry football players each one with eyes exactly like your own.Sometimes I see us,arguing ,but no one ever walks out.

Why did you walk out John?

Sometimes I wonder if Gare  would know.She knows everybody’s business John.Even businesses you are not aware you own.I think she is a secret agent of The Voice John.She knew  where your half limp of a leg was at twelve midnight  that night you never showed up John.She knows the struggle you encountered with your subcounscious John.How at the age of four Uncle May asked you to do things with your mouth you had never seen anyone do before  John.She knows.She even knew how you sometimes even looked forward to the times when you would be alone with Uncle May so you could do those things to him.It made you happy John,didn’t you.You were not sure.It made Uncle May happy,you reasoned.So it would make your mama  happy too.and if your mama was happy you were happy too John. But then there were nights you woke up screaming,the smell of bleach fresh in your mouth.Those were nights when you remembered Uncle May’s dissatisfication.It had to be your fault John.Maybe your  mouth had not moulded  around the thing well.Maybe you needed more practice.But the more you thought of  the act the dirty you felt.And you rinse your mouth with bleach John.Bleach.That thing,got rid of even  the toughest of stains.Your entire life would be a comic strip of bleach John.Sometimes hidden in the form of people,sometimes  in little white lies.But your  dark side,no one,nobody should ever see.

Maybe you did not know you had  issues John. Did you? Did you know that even giving hearts are shut off sometimes John.No matter how generous.You learned that after seven years of pure submissive sacrifice.When you came home to the absence of Uncle John’s smelling boots and raining armpits.You learnt.No matter how hard you tried to satisfy Uncle John,he still left your mama.And all the good things that came with him left too.

First the gas stove disappeared.Then the paraffin stove.Then the All Gold tomato sauce.Then you had that tomato paste that looks like someone’s blood.The one where they put too much flour and you only put it to colour your food. Then the blame game started  John.You were a good enough big kid for nothing.You never told me John.But ahh,Gare,the walking talking ancient museum  had these records all along.Maybe if I had visited her earlier I would have long known.

I tell you,that woman is an encyclopedia.You can ask her anything,even things that happened in her absence,she will tell you details that you perfomed and were not even aware of .I am sure she was present on the first day when God created the earth.She was that  nothing  in the beginning I tell you.But now,it was too late.Her loose mouth was no good now.

John do you remember how at twenty one you bowed on one leg resolute for a life time together.Remember the sparkle that lit our one room like no  load shedding ever hit  our side of town.Do you ?  Was it you or was it the person  Gare  knew.I wish you be honest.I mean,as much as I want it to have been you,and not the Gare knew,I would still love you John.Even if you were trying to bleach away this dark desire you had since the age of four,I would understand.After all, there are things I know you know I did when I was with you that you let go.You didn’t even fluster ,no you just  waved them way like a pit latrine fly that keeps coming back to sit on your moulded lump of paletshe.This things you were glad I could get someone to for with me.

Me and you John,we understood.We just did not want people to know we understood.So you grew your beard long,and the longer it grew for public display the more our public display was perfected.In the house,you were free.We trimmed the parts that could give away our act  so well,no one suspected.after all,the church depended on our image.Me hard working wife of an elder in the church.You,dignified  business man.The people would be unforgiving if they smelled a rat.In this were were unified.But there were things I wanted again.Things you were not ready to give.Things that sometimes made me slip even in the confines of holiness as the holy man of God,the daddy of the congregation embraced me and gave me comfort your inner being could not John.But you were okay with this.For as long as I was doing things for the church  that would not harm but protect your reputation,you were okay.

So the day I came home to tell you the knews John,You never raised your voice.You just hushed me in silence,and told me  no one had to know.Every house had its own little secret. TBC

Initially i wanted to submit this for a short story competition but somehow i didn't feel a strong connection to the characters-i couldn't explore their emotions enough so i let the story sit and maybe it will be my first draft to that novel in my bucket list to 25-hope you enjoy reading it.

DAY  1 Donate clothes You no longer use	DAY 2 Give away some  books you don’t use	DAY 3 Volunteer at a shelter	DAY 4 Write prisoners letters-I feel guilty about a letter from a prisoner who once wrote me and I never replied	DAY  5 Walk from Champ Fleurs to Trincity and back
DAY 6 Go  fishing	DAY 7 Go ice skating	DAY 8 Learn sign language	DAY 9 Learn to say “hello” in 50 languages.	DAY10 Learn how toBelly Dance
DAY11 Pay for someone’s lunch	DAY12 Finish the  fiction in my online library	DAY 13 Start  a happiness project	DAY 14 Make a difference in at least one person’s life.	DAY15 Write and publish a novel
DAY 16 Audition for makeup modelling	DAY 17 Gain a Readership of over 10000people by December 2013 for The SEED magazine	DAY 18 Uplift someone’s spirit	DAY 19 Graduate with distinction Jtough one	DAY 20 Get my blog to 10000views by Novemeber 3 2013-we are at 1993 views 8007 to go
DAY 21 Create enough passive income so that you don’t have to work another day in your life.	DAY 22 Live on 25tt a day for  25days	DAY 23  Get an ideal 4bedroomed home	DAY 24 Visit a mosque	DAY25 Run a Marathon
Day 26 Learn how to apply eye liner, and eye shadow	Day 27 Try a new hair style You have never done before	Day 28 Rehearse and recite poetry in  front of an audience	Day 29 Buy myself red roses and share them till I remain with one	Day 30 Watch the top 20 movies of all time

Are plastic flowers really that bad as a gift?

I had a good day at work today,simply because my class was cancelled :) ,and God knows i needed some time off,my circadian rhythm was disrupted during the vacation,i used to sleep at 5am and wake up mid day-so when i heard the news my first instinct was where is my bed,i need to jump into my bed right now,mind you,it was only 7am---if my grandma knew  of this she would get a heart attack.She doesn't believe in having the sun rise while the child lies in bed--shame on me! :)

Anyway,my so good friends took up my grandma's role and scolded me for wanting to play the lazy bum role instead of reading-We don't have much time-they kept reminding me-December will be soon here and we should be ready for the exam--yah thats what happens when you have nerdy friends--they cant let you enjoy a bit of sleep without feeling guilty--i love them though and God knows i need them,without them im pretty sure i would have had a couple of falls along my journey to being a doc.Anyway after the lecture they gave me,i decided to take care of important business first-- drop off a form for accommodation in school,,pray for me--i need to move into Old French-the rent outside is ridiculous!

 I also met with my former tutor,psych -a very friendly Register-i wish all supervisors could be as nice as all psychiatrists i have met so far-they have this way of making one feel at ease-and not jumpy jumpy at all--and he gave me good news--i did well on my elective program-i was so happy to hear that--elective marks don't matter that much but they do count later in life when you are applying to specialize into a particular field of medicine.While waiting to drop off my application sheet,i met a woman who i usually see around campus-i could tell she had put on extra work into looking great today and my mouth blurted out that she was looking very pretty--i normally hold in compliments-but i'm glad today it was given spontaneously--she was so happy and i was also happy cause i realized i made her day :) So today,just find someone you can compliment and make their day too-it doesn't take much from you,just opening your mouth and saying something kind,be truthful though-and a secret for the guys--you can never go wrong if you tell a woman she looks beautiful. :)

On a different note ,would i be cheap if i bought my friends plastic flowers? I know people always go crazy over fresh ones,but some of my friends suffer from allergies and one other thing plastic flowers last forever--and i hope my friendships will last for eternity too you know :) just saying lol...Lala--don't tell me i reason myself out of every situation,i'm being truthful here lol
Anyway back to the eye--i hear class might turn out interesting tomorrow

PS.when i finally slept,i dreamt of my psych results :) ..who dreams of results? --i mean there are so many things i could dream about--and my brain just chose to dream about school--:)

Thursday, 2 May 201

DAY  1 Donate clothes You no longer use	DAY 2 Give away some  books you don’t use	DAY 3 Volunteer at a shelter	DAY 4 Write prisoners letters-I feel guilty about a letter from a prisoner who once wrote me and I never replied	DAY  5 Walk from Champ Fleurs to Trincity and back
DAY 6 Go  fishing	DAY 7 Go ice skating	DAY 8 Learn sign language	DAY 9 Learn to say “hello” in 50 languages.	DAY10 Learn how toBelly Dance
DAY11 Pay for someone’s lunch	DAY12 Finish the  fiction in my online library	DAY 13 Start  a happiness project	DAY 14 Make a difference in at least one person’s life.	DAY15 Write and publish a novel
DAY 16 Audition for makeup modelling	DAY 17 Gain a Readership of over 10000people by December 2013 for The SEED magazine	DAY 18 Uplift someone’s spirit	DAY 19 Graduate with distinction Jtough one	DAY 20 Get my blog to 10000views by Novemeber 3 2013-we are at 1993 views 8007 to go
DAY 21 Create enough passive income so that you don’t have to work another day in your life.	DAY 22 Live on 25tt a day for  25days	DAY 23  Get an ideal 4bedroomed home	DAY 24 Visit a mosque	DAY25 Run a Marathon
Day 26 Learn how to apply eye liner, and eye shadow	Day 27 Try a new hair style You have never done before	Day 28 Rehearse and recite poetry in  front of an audience	Day 29 Buy myself red roses and share them till I remain with one	Day 30 Watch the top 20 movies of all time

aflame

if you could hold my hand again
when there is nothing else to hold
us, anymore
would my self be anywhere
near enough
my love my love my love
my love, to hold you still
when you are unsteady, unstable ,unaware
of whats throwing you off
our path our path our path
of our  love our love my love
my love my love my love
would you would you would you find me again
in the softness of my reach
in the strength that lies deep in your soul
and our trust
our trust
our trust that
in the blindness somehow
that somehow
when we touch
we will see each other once again
again
again
we will set ourselves
aflame
aflame
aflame
my love my love my love

sometimes you realize brown rice is good for you after all

Yesterday i went to the grocery store to do my month end shopping,so i asked my regular driver to come pick me up,he is like a second dad now and we are comfortable in each other's presence--first thing he says when he lays eyes on me is girl you trim nah,your boyfriend ask you to lose weight nah--and  i laugh-it was only then that i realized  i in fact have lost a bit of fat-thanks to brown rice and all the healthy stuff i HAVE to eat.
My journey with brown rice hasn't always been lovey dovey-we have had a more hate kinda relationship at the start-never was a love at first sight--first time i started eating brown rice regularly was when i moved in  with Mow,one of my best friends,she is health conscious and since we were sharing meals i had to eat the brown rice..after she left i couldn't keep up with the brown rice and i went back to my old habits--Thank God the sliding hernia issue arose and i was forced by natural circumstances to go healthy-complying to a healthy diet is not easy,i remember the first week after being really sick i watched everything i ate,two weeks later there i was,with a tub of ice cream,soda and eating junk like the world was coming to an end..

Anywhere i bet you asking yourself ,where am i going with this brown rice issue when last night i promised we would talk about being positively positive-i want to highlight an important issue about compliance to meds when one is HIV positive-it is not easy-you are used to a tablet free life and all of a sudden you have to start this cock tail of drugs-sometimes you might slip and not take your meds which is bad -so like me with my brown rice issue having a friend who encourages you to pursue a healthy lifestyle is very important -sometimes you might not enjoy going healthy at the start and being compliant with meds but in the end it will benefit you -if you are forgetful-put your meds in a visible place-eg have a screen saver on your phone as a  reminder to say time for meds -

i take iron tablets cause my hemoglobin is low--i keep the tablets by the sugar bowl cause i need a few teaspoons of sugar every morning whether its a cereal morning or a tea morning--so i see them every morning -so if you or somebody you know is struggling to be compliant with meds  whether it be diabetic meds,hypertension,ARV's or whatever medication they have to take,even OCP--oral contaceptive pills---little things could be used to remind one...anyway i'm out--i have a whole book about ears i have to read within 3 weeks before i move on with an eye book and my  brown rice meal is waiting to be ravished.

Ps.my taxi driver offered to take me to a Mosque,so we might tick off one item from my bucket list wish list sooner than i thought---i just need to get  some decent clothes to cover my arms and face and legs and be presentable 

We need to talk

seems like an ice cold statement to make hey,but we do need to talk.we have been beating around the bush for a while.we need to talk about issues affecting us,we need to open closed doors, dig out stuff we don't want exposed-expose it-u know,dirty laundry needs to be  aired a bit--its for our own good.

lets talk to our brothers and sisters,talk to our mothers and our fathers, talk till we can't talk no more.there are so many silences resounding its deafening.we  keep this silences close to our chests,hug them like our lives depend on them yet these silences are  suffocating us, killing us one by one like flies,we need to open up about relationships and how they are not fairy tales ...

talking to your siblings or your children about the complexity of human relations is  a must if you love them...this dying thing is real man and our shame and our  un-comfortableness should pale in comparison to seeing someone we love die...well we are all going to die,but we can make choices that clear us from certain ways we could potentially die

a few days ago,  i came across a blog called diaryofazulugirl,well written i must say-but i must also mention it kinda has a bit of  PG content,that is, if you cant handle certain strong words you might be wary of checking it out,but otherwise it is a must read--its such a vivid diary you cant help but evaluate your own values and your own choices with regards to the HIV issue,

it talks about the life of a young zulu girl who goes to JHB to study law and  is exposed to ''good living,'' good in quotes cause really her fast life is thriving because of sugar daddies so it's not as good as it seems.it got me thinking,Sub- saharan Africa lives in an ERA of HIV,with almost 40 or so percent of Batswana infected by  HIV -

but has any of our family members ever sat us  down,and said:

1. hey HIV is real,or are we just told in passing that you ''have now started to grow horns and you will die of your ways''--''o mela dinaka''  and are we not only told that going out at night will kill us--we neglect that HIV has no respect for day or night-if there is bodily fluid contact whether day or night and one is infected the possibility of infection is there -lets stop the parables-call a spade a spade-and this days we need to open up to our children about the facts,after all we live in  a generation where we have a good number of children who were infected at birth and during pregnancy-and with games such as mantlwane aka playing house,and black ma mpatile  ,and the more modern spin the bottle  we can not live on assumption that all play is squeaky clean-children need to be aware that play may just be as equally dangerous to their lives


2. this is how you use a condom,unless maybe your aunt is  a matron or  a doctor or something in the health sector and is willing to give you all a lecture and a demo,i'm pretty sure the only time you saw condom demonstration was in a crowded hall of over 200 students ,with bad lightning and some representative trying to explain over heads and heads of giggling shy students how a condom is used--such a life saving procedure not adequately drilled into our heads and when one starts experimenting later on, is it a surprise that one of the top reasons people give when pregnant is the condom broke,i guess not

3. you do understand that going for HIV testing with your partner and testing negative doesn't mean you will be negative for life do you,we all know of the term back love-you part ways to reconnect later in life-sad thing is love make sus foolish sometimes-you forget that in those moments you parted you both had lives-and some do more than just living-when you get back issues of retesting never suffice-after all you did test the first time

4.do you know about window period

5.do you know you could test HIV negative today and  one frustration the next day results in one of  you cheating and in trying to protect the other party such issues are never disclosed

6.familiarity breeds a false illusion of safety-and you never know someone,just because you have been together for a while and things are great doesn't mean you are safe

7.a condom costs less than a life time of medications-make good choices while you can

8.if you become  infected,do the right thing and take care of those you  love-be honest with them,from the start-the heat of the moment might not allow you to tell all

9.everybody,absolutely everyone is at risk

10.tomoro we will look at how to be positively positive and be the best one can be

would you want your daughter or son to marry someone like you?

Mara,these days my brain is getting too opinionated,it scares me jah,but its the years man,di ile dingwaga--the years have flown by so fast i didn't even see them--ke THE FLASH to 25--being 25 and female is like living your life and  knowing your sell by date is getting close in the marriage industry.seriously.men can go single  up till they are 50 and  120 years  and still get marriage proposals,don't shake your head in denial---it is true-nxu stru,ka mme ruri-we don't like to admit it but its true,the more stable a man is in life the more attractive he looks when it comes to settling down...that's why even in the 1800's, thank God it was 200 years ago and i was nowhere near being born,old men married youngsters,even today,just google millionaires and their wives,you will fall out of your chair from surprise but honestly it makes the whole idea of providing for a family a lot easier---

when you have been working for  a decade and you get a younger wife,she will definitely be happy with the money you bringing home,anyway that is not the issue i want  my multiple personality brain to tackle today--btw if i offend you--just blame it on one of my more opinionated brain cell personalities-no hard feelings--sometimes the views i write here are not my own,just stuff my crazy brain thinks about ---sometimes i don't say things i mean and sometimes i mean things i don't say.so yesterday,i nearly said today cause i haven't slept since yesterday, i watched  a tv show about marriage,(yah,i do watch boring stuff like that, if i want to be a good doctor i read,if i want to be a great cook i read,so i figured this reading stuff and watching stuff probably applies to all areas of my life,  so i do read about marriage from time to time and try to understand it from the male perspective,i do want someday to walk down the aisle with my price charming and have a shrek kinda of fairy tale--the kind that lasts forever ever ever ever after the marriage excitement dies down--even though in bots we will probably be walking  down an aisle covered with phate-red carpet is a western phenomenon  unless you are at a prestigious place  the rich get married at,ha o itswela Nzwazwi jaaka nna jaana re go shapa ka phate e be re tswa mo dilong-just don't tell my future hubby,incase he plans on walking me down that aisle on a red carpet neh-)

ok back to my tv show,the  host was trying to get the opinions of black men on what makes a black brother settle down,one thing i liked is the sharp honesty this guys were bringing to the table,they called a spade a spade my sister,sorry if u are a guy reading this,mara u must understand that this are mostly convos  i will  normally have with girlfriends,don't you?

one question that stood out for me was, would you want your daughter to date someone like you,it got me thinking..am i the kind of girl i would want my son to date in the future,if i ever have  a son that is.honestly ,i don't know.i do cook,and i do it quite fair fair i think,i mean its not 5star material but its pretty good stuff,and its not stuff you would pretend you enjoy only to go out for  a burger later,so yes  i do cook.i don't wash clothes--the washing machine does that ---well at-least for now,in this place you survive with a washing machine-it rains 24/7 -3 times a day,its really crazy--so i cant give myself any points on that --and i think i am a kind person,you know and yah i have been told  i am wife material--im not sure what that means but it sounds like the kind of girl you would want to show off to your mama as the poetntial MRS,kana jang--if its not hit me with a definition in my inbox..

--on kindness though no one ever says they are lucifer--we all see ourselves in  rose painted glasses--so i cant judge if i would want my baby son to bring a girl like me  to our home someday...

but,back to you,cause this was never about me in the first place, would you want your son or daughter marrying someone like you.do you treat your better half the way they want you to treat them,are you considerate,kind,humble,giving,generous,faithful,have a listener's ear and all that stuff people say they look for in a partner, before they settle down, are you the virtuous kind my favorite bible verses talk about ,you know the Proverbs 31 kind?

on the other hand,being 25 and working your way towards a beautiful career and hopefully you know a good marriage and some kids is also like being a one off item on the shelf-in demand  and highly valued so for all my sisters in the same league,lets do this career thing with our self respect patting us on our back,cause it is no way easy-when everyone around you  says when you finish school all the brothers will be taken don't panic--the good ones will wait for you ---especially if you are married to medicine or law or any profession where you are still trying to find your two feet before you receive any sort of salary keep your hopes up and know God is in control all the time..no need to rush--his timing is always the best :)

Peace with a ganster sign :)

Why you can't ask a guy out :(

ok,so i was saying,we live in the 21st century right,where there is liberation of women,equality and jab jab all that new stuff we claim to be promoting in third world so we can look like we moving towards first world status..we have women leaders,people who on a daily basis take initiative to bring about new stuff into society.we are taught from an early age that if you are hungry you speak out.if you want a banana and not an apple you dont just sit back and sulk and expect the people around you to prophesy your needs,...this is true for most things like food,and clothing and all those things,but my sisters,don't ask a man out.its society's unwritten rule.apparently ''gatwe o isa status sa basadi ko tlase if you do'' ---(ie you are degrading the status of women in your society ) now,don't ask me how,i am not SOCIETY.do i agree with them.NO.

 i am clearly an alpha female,never been the kind to just wait for things to happen.i go after what i want.if i believe this year i should have a book out,i will hunt  publishers down,i will write that book,an di will get it published and in stores,btw my Poetry book Heart for rent will be hitting African shores soon,for those who have been asking,coming all the way from the UK.so you see,my innate nature is to go after what i want,its not necessarily a bad thing considering i am the first born of  a good number of children and i assume leader role naturally,i should be able to take the lead.however when it comes to dating life,the advice i have gotten is to be submissive,be passive,men like a passive woman.i tell you,it is hard to pretend to be what you are not...taking the back seat  like you are Queen of something when tota tota you are used to be the taxi driver navigating .and since i am a person who likes to ask why a lot,this why i find it not satisfactorily answered.women must wait for a man to check them out,you have more class as a woman,it is our culture,you do not degrade yourself to begging status...but truthfully i don't see it that way,i see it as an assertive trait. i mean, if you know you are 5 feet with an IQ of 100,and are a yellow bone ,and you want to mix those genes and up your game by asking a 10feet 140 IQ  tall,dark and handsome self confident guy out,i see you just applying the theory of survival of the fittest in your life.you are simply making the choice that unlike you,your offspring will not be denied the chance to win Miss Botswana because of lack of height,and you are putting them at a greater advantage over the others by giving them a ready made genetic pool of brains..so why do we degrade women who ask for what they want.is it because we have our own little insecurities,or our subconscious cultural minds will forever remain  a huge part of our judgement?

I think it would be great for the guys once in a while to take a back seat status and let the women do the work,experience what it is like to face rejection,and how hard coming up with a pick up line is,and also why some guys do all those crazy things to impress women on the first date like borrowing your old lady's BMW 7series to impress a chick you just met and still claim you want a chick a who loves you for yourself and not your money ...anyway that is another topic for another day ..

.tsatsing jeno im stressed--my sleeping days are over-totally over---going back to school on Monday --mind you i love school,but i just happen to love my sleep more--i don't sleep in class though,i just close my eyes a little and visit places that my brain can only go to--im Totally totally joking-i  have never ever ever dozed off in class :)

BTW i think i finished my 20 movies of all time,last time i blogged about them i was at fourteen i think,so far i watched  Olympus,Yes or No, a lot of ,coffeee house,a korean drama series and also a series called intersexions--not  movies but still counts cause it took just as much time and i highly recommend both....What's your number,The Shwashank Redemption,Akeelah and the spelling Bee ,Philadelphia-my fav actor D. Washington stars there and there is one about a woman with no law degree who manages to win a case about some water ,cant remember the movie tittle,its hard but it stars Julia Roberts.,so yah my list is complete now :)

DAY  1 Donate clothes You no longer use	DAY 2 Give away some  books you don’t use	DAY 3 Volunteer at a shelter	DAY 4 Write prisoners letters-I feel guilty about a letter from a prisoner who once wrote me and I never replied	DAY  5 Walk from Champ Fleurs to Trincity and back
DAY 6 Go  fishing	DAY 7 Go ice skating	DAY 8 Learn sign language	DAY 9 Learn to say “hello” in 50 languages.	DAY10 Learn how toBelly Dance
DAY11 Pay for someone’s lunch-my house mate is such a nice person,i bought her lunch and she decides to get back at me with ice cream :)	DAY12 Finish the  fiction in my online library	DAY 13 Start  a happiness project	DAY 14 Make a difference in at least one person’s life.	DAY15 Write and publish a novel
DAY 16 Audition for makeup modelling	DAY 17 Gain a Readership of over 10000people by December 2013 for The SEED magazine	DAY 18 Uplift someone’s spirit	DAY 19 Graduate with distinction Jtough one	DAY 20 Get my blog to 10000views by Novemeber 3 2013--so far we are at 1819-thanks a lot for passing by
DAY 21 Create enough passive income so that you don’t have to work another day in your life.	DAY 22 Live on 25tt a day for  25days--trying everyday...not a joke i tell you	DAY 23  Get an ideal 4bedroomed home	DAY 24 Visit a mosque	DAY25 Run a Marathon
Day 26 Learn how to apply eye liner, and eye shadow	Day 27 Try a new hair style You have never done before	Day 28 Rehearse and recite poetry in  front of an audience	Day 29 Buy myself red roses and share them till I remain with one	Day 30 Watch the top 20 movies of all time