It hurts to love you

My mum says ,love is a landmine you never go searching for
unless you are ready to die.I know she is right.But we've lost us in the maze
so many times,we've forgot how to put back the puzzle of this broken hearts together
So i have been searching for you
But every-time i think i've found you
i sieve through the good times
i see the trailer of every hurt play like a flash back before us
i hear your words wrap around my heard
hear them pound and pound like a gong
shouting,this is it,we are done
But i'm never ready to hear you say your goodbyes
 even when you say
 the future is a  haze
even when you say no strings attached
I call it a passing phase
Even when you serve a cold platter of your dying heart
We eat  through the silence
through the pain of falling
and we say
this is love
its supposed to hurt
some days are supposed to be good,but most days are bad
but what is love
if we turn our lives into knots that tie us
 bind us,tangle us , till it  hurts to love us
it hurts to love us
the way it hurts to swallow the truth that glares back at us in the dark
there is no shelter on our porch
no welcome mat to your ribcage
There is no place to hold my heart
in your freezer chest
till we bury our hurt in a cemetry so filled with a Forrest of forgiveness
we can only lose ourselves in the peace
and every heart beat is a note singing to us
to heal the hurt that hurts us
and when they ask why we stay
when it hurts to love us
we say
it hurts more not to love us

When the weather stops changing

I have been stripping away coats of my history
where I come from, the cold bites through your bones
shatters and shakes your very being
you keep every piece of your body sheltered
away from the reach of intimacy
lest the cold reaches the mesh that holds your heart together
keeps you tangled in doubt of whether this world was ever meant to be warm enough
it takes guts to lean on somebody's spine
it takes guts to let secrets float

trust is a crack made by a builder's boulder truck
passing in the path of your search for a soul mate
but when your rain comes
it fixes the crack
grows a rose of forgiveness
a tulip of letting go

you let a thick carpet of lush bloom
where i can rest in the shade of your protection
you have been watering the break in my heart
so when the weather changes
and a storm hits
turns the tide and throws you off balance
when the ship of your love starts sinking
i hope i will be strong enough
i hope i will be the rescue you have been searching for
i hope my gut tremble will  be earthquake strong enough
to turn every fear of sinking into bravery
to stretch my arms to hold you
to never think of letting go

when you need your space
i hope i will have the courage to let you travel into space
without fear of your non return
i hope i will trust
that you will find the truth you are mining for
and bring the treasure of your search
for a time when the weather stops changing

A writer's dream

As the new year unsheds its hours,and spreads its days,i find my writer hunger pangs lingering around and causing me unrest.I'm searching for short story competitions to enter.I love the idea of a somewhat busy schedule.It keeps me on my toes.I love deadlines to meet.Fortunately,I found something to keep me busy for a while on wikipedia. So the young writer in me is awakened.My imagination is free to create characters. I'm free to create new beings without the pain of labour--in a way i do get ''labor pain,'' but i would have that any day,for my writer friends who are interested in entering a  competition,i have copied the wiki link for you below. Happy productive writer's year.
http://www.worldcitystories.com

New year's resolutions: the things we want

As we begin a new year,we resolve to achieve things.We write down our hearts' desires,we write down goals,we ask the universe to be kind to us. I'm not immune to this phenomenon.So i'm asking the world to be kind,to be humorous,to be soft spoken to me,I'm asking for the earth to bless me, to see me through,to give me a year worth living for.I'm asking for stability,commitment,for new doors to open for me,for my entry into the career i have be working hard for, I'm asking for the continuity of friendships,for the strengthening of bonds,for love to dwell in my mist,for my family to be kept safe, for my spirit to be kind,for my soul to be more generous,i'm asking for my face to light up in smile, to light up the world,for me to nag less,to be more understanding,more considerate,to walk with my head held high,to be optimistic about life,to worry less,to demand less,to be more tolerant,more accepting,to use my God given gifts,to love myself more,to love others just as much,to accept the person i am,to accept  the person i am not,I am asking to be more than i ever thought i could be,i'm asking for humility to dwell in me,for respect and love,and nurturing and a persevering spirit to be my companions.I am asking for determination to stay within me,for focus,for aptitute and a good attitude.Im am asking to be thirsty to live.To be alive more than i have ever been.I am asking for God to make me a better team player,to manage my time more efficiently,to hold less grudges,to commit less sin, to see the beauty in ordinary everyday encounters,to be blessed in the relationships i form,to bless the friendships,and to form lifelong lasting friendships.

But mostly i'm asking for God to let my life follow in the path i am destined to follow.