Friday 6 December 2013
Proud sister
I am very proud of my younger sister who just aced her PSLE exams.She reminds me what hard work can achieve when one puts their mind to it.A year back she was having trouble with Mathematics and Setswana and i asked her to revisit her times table and be persistent in studying those two subjects.For someone that young i didn't think she would really follow through with the advice but In the two weeks i was home,i was never given a day's break from tutoring her.In a way she reminds me of my persistent old self,when i always welcomed the challenge of a difficult subject with determination and worked my butt off to learn stuff till i got it.I was never a super smart kid,or the kid who understood the concept first,yah, i was the slow kid ,but i was hardworking and would eventually get there ,and today i realised i have one determined princess for a sister.She just inspired me to give my best shot at what i do.Despite Setswana being a language we learn first at school,and one we have great difficulty with in our initial stages, she aced the subject and worked her C in maths to an A.She thinks i'm a genius,i think she is The Genius...# very proud sister :) #
Saturday 30 November 2013
When you feel God's love,you know it is his Love
Somewhere,in the confines of my deepest thoughts,in the crevices of my hidden heart,i'm hosting a feast of thanks-giving.The feast is alien to me,but the merriness comes naturally still.I am thankful to God for my lot.Thankful for all the blessings that have rained on. Undeserved favor.I, who is nothing. I, who does nothing.I, whom the Lord has pitied.I,whose heart is ridiculed by sin. The Lord has opened his flood gates on me and said,child ,your days on this earth shall be mirrored with blessing after blessing,and everywhere you go,you shall find favor with men. Thankful for the sleepless nights i get to spend,wondering if someday i will be a good healer.It is good,to know my inner instincts crave to do good.It is good to know,i do not know it all.It is good to know nobody on this earth knows nothing,nobody on this earth knows everything.It is also good to know that our lives are intertwined to fill in the gaps where others know,and to allow others to fill us where we do not know.God has been good,his fountain of blessing flows endlessly,just when i'm about to chill and say,God i thought your favor had run out,He shows me the vast ocean,shows me the depth and breath of his abundance upon my life ,reminds me I am Wada, God's beloved,Ndzimu wakandida.imi ngwana e ngwana wa Kakale ..imi banikati, imi itshururu cha ka ma Eleck..imi..how moving it is to know God's love wraps me from head to toe! ..and i am left in awe,singing endless praise and giving him glory for whom he has destined me to be,whom he has blessed my life with.Can God be sweeter than this!
Friday 29 November 2013
My brain is a reforming harlot
My brain is an unscrupulous harlot.
never satisfied
always asking for more
always asking for more
My brain pursues not a single goal.
Never clings to an idea.
Never grows old with a thought.
My brain loves fantasy,
day dreaming,
infatuation.
My brain is a hoarder.
Its a collection plate of ideas in a church of thoughtful givers
Piles them into one big pile of forgotten goods.
Keeps them brimming from crevices,
sweeps some under the rug,
folds some into closets.
Dusts some off,
smiles at them,
wonders why it lets good ideas go
My brain is a pot of stew,
gurgling and bubbling with stolen thoughts,
dreams,plans that simmer and simmer into a thick gravy of contemplation.
My brain is seasoning.
Adapting to seasons of change,
seasons of maturity seasons
of introspection and truth finding.
My brain is regretting.
Regretting seasons lost.
Regretting virgin ideas unexplored.
My brain is up for a dare.
My brain is willing
My brain is change
My brain is new habits
My brain takes vows
My brain settles
My brain
My brain
is determination
My brain takes vows
My brain settles
My brain
My brain
is determination
Thursday 28 November 2013
If i had the skin for politics-what i would advocate for
If i had the skin for politics, I would strongly advocate for kindergarten education: firstly because the most important years in anyone's education are the early formative years,it makes more sense for us as a country to mould our nation when its still pliable into a reading loving and education hungry nation,secondly this would create jobs for the increasing number of teachers in our country: we do have jobs we can offer,its a matter of seeing where and how.Kindergarten classes could be built within the same compound as the primary schools,in every village,town or city.Its also high time re ka nna le a sporting academy,re ko re lese go nna re jewa hela.Im sure go na le bo Nigel le bo Amantle baba mmalwa in our country whose talents are never discovered.Kgomo tse di alolwang mo gae moo,ha bashimanyana le basetsana ba ba ka re ntse ba di alolwa e be gotwe wena nkare bokgoni bo teng ha ta ya o tsene sekolo sa basiane,re ka nna e re ngwaga le ngwaga e be re sa lebelela Amantle a le nosi ko di olympiking...ke raa hela.
To increase our own ability to supply ourselves with food,as a government, the ministry of Agriculture could offer government lands well equiped with the right infrastructure and hire farmers just like other ministries who will be solely responsible for the nation's gross produce.I would advocate for equal parenting rights,not only financially but the emotional aspect and physical aspect.Most children never meet their dads,the financial support may be available.It is high time some emphasis is put on the actual parent taking an active role in the life of the child.Money does not hire an ad-visor to educate a child as well as an involved parent would.
Health wise,I would place more emphasis on retaining health professional,and equipping the already available hospitals.Every year the government spends a considerable amount of money training doctors whom half of never come back or leave after. I believe every individual has a right to seek a better opportunity elsewhere ,thats just plain simple survival skills--let us be an epitome where that survival exists.Its awesome that foreign doctors are helping out with our shortage of local doctors.I applaud the that,however we all know there are language barries that may never be overcome.It is hard enough for our own local doctors to sometimes understand what patients present with.When accent comes into play its even harder,so is it really not worth it in the long run to give our own people a reason to come back home to,so our people can be well assured that ha motho a re o thabilwe ke setlhabi tota ngaka e mo utule.Ha a re o timilwe ke motsetse tota ngaka e mo thalogantse.We also have so many building without skilled personnel or the right equipment.We should not be having to go outside of the country to get CT scan.When Mandela is ailing he is hospitalised in South Africa.When a leader in our country is ailing ga o kake wa utwa gotwe o ko Marina,simply because we are lacking somewhere.Lets us provide health care and health equipment so efficient,effective and all the goo dyou can think of that there will be no reason for us to seek health care out side the country.The building phase has been well done,now its time to make sure we provide efficient and effective service.
Kgang tsa metsi le motlakase tsone tota need to be dealt with.Im sure if we dug deep into our dessert metsi a ka tswa goo gonwe ko tlase kwa.Instead of heavily relying on always having to pray for rain,lets look for other alternatives.Im sure God gave us faith and also somewhere in the bible there is a saying that Faith Without Works Is Dead - What does it profit, my brethren, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can faith save him?
So lets use our God given brains to have faith for water and at the same time dig for it.
Anyway .im no politician,i have no skin for it ,so i will simply advocate for the things i wish to change in the confines of my brain and my blog.
To increase our own ability to supply ourselves with food,as a government, the ministry of Agriculture could offer government lands well equiped with the right infrastructure and hire farmers just like other ministries who will be solely responsible for the nation's gross produce.I would advocate for equal parenting rights,not only financially but the emotional aspect and physical aspect.Most children never meet their dads,the financial support may be available.It is high time some emphasis is put on the actual parent taking an active role in the life of the child.Money does not hire an ad-visor to educate a child as well as an involved parent would.
Health wise,I would place more emphasis on retaining health professional,and equipping the already available hospitals.Every year the government spends a considerable amount of money training doctors whom half of never come back or leave after. I believe every individual has a right to seek a better opportunity elsewhere ,thats just plain simple survival skills--let us be an epitome where that survival exists.Its awesome that foreign doctors are helping out with our shortage of local doctors.I applaud the that,however we all know there are language barries that may never be overcome.It is hard enough for our own local doctors to sometimes understand what patients present with.When accent comes into play its even harder,so is it really not worth it in the long run to give our own people a reason to come back home to,so our people can be well assured that ha motho a re o thabilwe ke setlhabi tota ngaka e mo utule.Ha a re o timilwe ke motsetse tota ngaka e mo thalogantse.We also have so many building without skilled personnel or the right equipment.We should not be having to go outside of the country to get CT scan.When Mandela is ailing he is hospitalised in South Africa.When a leader in our country is ailing ga o kake wa utwa gotwe o ko Marina,simply because we are lacking somewhere.Lets us provide health care and health equipment so efficient,effective and all the goo dyou can think of that there will be no reason for us to seek health care out side the country.The building phase has been well done,now its time to make sure we provide efficient and effective service.
Kgang tsa metsi le motlakase tsone tota need to be dealt with.Im sure if we dug deep into our dessert metsi a ka tswa goo gonwe ko tlase kwa.Instead of heavily relying on always having to pray for rain,lets look for other alternatives.Im sure God gave us faith and also somewhere in the bible there is a saying that Faith Without Works Is Dead - What does it profit, my brethren, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can faith save him?
So lets use our God given brains to have faith for water and at the same time dig for it.
Anyway .im no politician,i have no skin for it ,so i will simply advocate for the things i wish to change in the confines of my brain and my blog.
Saturday 23 November 2013
The Princess of Nzwazwi
This story began with an if, If I had to write a story for my 6 year and 10 year old sisters,what would it be. Once upon a time,in the village of Nswazwi,there lived a very kind and loving princess.She had large sparkling eyes, a wide smile and a caring heart.She had a kinky afro that she always held in colourful bright hair bands,nice full black lips, a big beautiful nose and flawless ebony skin.She was short and a little chubby.She was very very beautiful.Her daddy was King Kenny and he owned hundreds of big healthy cattle, a farm where they grew yellow maize, grey millet, red tomatoes,,brown beans,green morogo ,watermelon and sugar cane.He was very rich.King Kenny was also very generous and everyone in his village loved him dearly.King Kenny loved his little princess very much.He let her come to the kgotla meetings with him to meet his people when they came to see him.When Princess Wandipa went to the Kgotla she tied her hair in a beautiful head scarf and wore a neat,well ironed dress. King Kenny taught her that her clothes should always be clean,even if they were old,they must be clean.She helped wash them and asked the helper to help her iron them for her.The iron was not supposed to be used by children as young as her because it was hot and it would burn her.King Kenny taught her to respect everybody,from the little children ,to the old people,to her age mates,the poor and the very rich.When she asked aunty,the helper to iron her clothes,she always said,"aunty, please may you help me by ironing my clothes? " Princess Wandipa was never rude. She watched everything the elders did,learning so that one day she could do those things well too because King Kenny taught her to learn from others so she could be a wise young lady.When people came fighting to the Kgotla, King Kenny would hear them out,and when they finished talking he would ask Princess to bring them some tea,and diphaphata to eat.Princess Wandipa's diphaphata we well baked,and people always wanted more.Princess Wandipa gave them more to eat to their heart's content.When everyone was well fed,the King would ask Princess Wandipa what he must do.Princess Wandipa always smiled and asked the villagers why they were fighting.She told them fighting each other was bad.The villagers should love each other,protect one another and always make peace.The villagers would be embarrassed at themselves for lacking wisdom,and they would apologise and go to their homes peacefully.Princess Wandipa would then go into the village,and play with her friends.If one of her friend in the village had no food, she would ask King Kenny to let them pick ripe maize,beans,morogo,sugar cane and let the family milk their big healthy cows.King Kenny would also give the family cattle to look after for him,and when calves where born King Kenny would give away the calves so that the family could have many more cows in the future.This way no one could remain poor in the village of Nzwazwi. King Kenny was very happy with the way Princess Wandipa cared for the villagers,and when he was about to die,he told the villagers that Princess Wandipa will inherit everything he owns and become the Queen of Nzwazwi and she would look after everyone in the village.The people clapped and clapped because they knew she would be a caring Queen and they all lived happily ever after.
What I have been up to
My naughty self has been quiet lately.I needed some time off to work on a short story for another competition and I did finish this one on time.I wish I could share bits of it,but that wont happen till after the competition because entries should not have been published anywhere for them to be eligible for submission. I'm talking about the Common Wealth competition folks,I did enter.The previous winners are really outstanding writers and their skill is way out of this world.If you want to enter ,the entry rules can be found at the following link http://www.commonwealthwriters.org/prizes/commonwealth-short-story-prize/ ,deadline is the 30th of November.
On the other hand,I'm happy I did enter the Bessie Head Short Story Competition,coming in second place was more than I had hoped for considering I wrote the story within a short period of time. I was really excited when I heard the news.Its one of those things where you are kind of happy because you feel like your skill has been affirmed.Oh,by the way,publishers I can write lol. If you want me to write for you contact me hehehehe To find out who won and what we won,you can visit this link http://thuto.org/bhead/html/awards/awards.htm . I'm hoping someday I will compete in the novel category lol.I'm a lazy writer when it comes to developing a story but hey who knows what I might do if I set my mind to it.A few minutes ago,I was working on a little story for an African Princess,something similar to the Cinderella stories I read when I was young.I have two younger sisters and as I wrote about them I thought what if I wrote something they could relate to.I will post the story shortly on my blog. As for school,I'm a few weeks to doing surgery,trying to catch up.I did not like surgery before,but since last week I have been in love with surgery,two surgeons were operating on a beating heart and I thought,wow that's awesome. Wish though,i could have learnt my anatomy really well in first year,maybe being a surgeon would have been an option for me in the future,anyway its never too late to immense oneself in trying out for something right.
Last Week,we met up with Dr. Tebelelo Mazile Seretse Ambassador of the Republic of Botswana to the US and I was really inspired to be someone who fights to achieve their dream just by listening to her talking about her success and failures.I will be writing about the encounter on The Seed Magazine.Its been a while since i wrote something there sadly. My dream is to be a caring doctor,with ample knowledge to do my job well,that's why i always cry when I do not know stuff i'm supposed to know lol. Im a big cry baby :) I want to be an internationally read fiction writer, with a long list of books like Mme Mma Kubuitsile --I admire her :) You can check out her CV on her blog,http://thoughtsfrombotswana.blogspot.com/ It is impressive especially in a country where publishing books is not that easy.I want to have written and published at-least a book every year till i'm 30 years old.I hope that happens.I hope next year i do well,so i could at least attend a writer's workshop to horn my skills and just be in the mist of more seasoned authors.I love No-Violet Bulawayo's style of writing,it resonates with my African-ness,if anything like that exists,and I hope I will be able to write something as profound as she is able to.One other thing I hope to do next year is attend Poetavango Festival,the artists there inspire me a lot,even though I have never met any of them in person,Thanks to Facebook and You Tube I get to view their videos.
Last but not least, I'm thankful to those who are never shy to tell me I write beautifully,its one more reason I continue to try to improve the skill,and from this day,I am going to try and punctuate well. I'm very bad at that :)
On the other hand,I'm happy I did enter the Bessie Head Short Story Competition,coming in second place was more than I had hoped for considering I wrote the story within a short period of time. I was really excited when I heard the news.Its one of those things where you are kind of happy because you feel like your skill has been affirmed.Oh,by the way,publishers I can write lol. If you want me to write for you contact me hehehehe To find out who won and what we won,you can visit this link http://thuto.org/bhead/html/awards/awards.htm . I'm hoping someday I will compete in the novel category lol.I'm a lazy writer when it comes to developing a story but hey who knows what I might do if I set my mind to it.A few minutes ago,I was working on a little story for an African Princess,something similar to the Cinderella stories I read when I was young.I have two younger sisters and as I wrote about them I thought what if I wrote something they could relate to.I will post the story shortly on my blog. As for school,I'm a few weeks to doing surgery,trying to catch up.I did not like surgery before,but since last week I have been in love with surgery,two surgeons were operating on a beating heart and I thought,wow that's awesome. Wish though,i could have learnt my anatomy really well in first year,maybe being a surgeon would have been an option for me in the future,anyway its never too late to immense oneself in trying out for something right.
Last Week,we met up with Dr. Tebelelo Mazile Seretse Ambassador of the Republic of Botswana to the US and I was really inspired to be someone who fights to achieve their dream just by listening to her talking about her success and failures.I will be writing about the encounter on The Seed Magazine.Its been a while since i wrote something there sadly. My dream is to be a caring doctor,with ample knowledge to do my job well,that's why i always cry when I do not know stuff i'm supposed to know lol. Im a big cry baby :) I want to be an internationally read fiction writer, with a long list of books like Mme Mma Kubuitsile --I admire her :) You can check out her CV on her blog,http://thoughtsfrombotswana.blogspot.com/ It is impressive especially in a country where publishing books is not that easy.I want to have written and published at-least a book every year till i'm 30 years old.I hope that happens.I hope next year i do well,so i could at least attend a writer's workshop to horn my skills and just be in the mist of more seasoned authors.I love No-Violet Bulawayo's style of writing,it resonates with my African-ness,if anything like that exists,and I hope I will be able to write something as profound as she is able to.One other thing I hope to do next year is attend Poetavango Festival,the artists there inspire me a lot,even though I have never met any of them in person,Thanks to Facebook and You Tube I get to view their videos.
Last but not least, I'm thankful to those who are never shy to tell me I write beautifully,its one more reason I continue to try to improve the skill,and from this day,I am going to try and punctuate well. I'm very bad at that :)
Friday 8 November 2013
you are my gravity
A friend asked how we keep falling over and over for each other when falling hurts this much.
i smiled and said
you are my gravity
i cant help myself
you parachute me a safety net
everytime we hit turbulence
and i'm about to take a plunge
and before i reach rock bottom
you ambulance a love cushion
see that's why i'm not afraid of broken ribs
cause i know if i ever land on my left
there will be a set of paramedics
with a crash kit full of earnestly felt sorry--ies
to heal my bruised heart
this heart is fragile
it can be broken by thoughtless words
just as much by periods of silence
so you have made it a habit
that every-time words evade us
you hold me close
you never ask for space
cause space has no room for falling
space has no time for gravity
space cant put your arms around me
to listen to the beat of my heart
space cant hear the forgiveness verses our love preaches
so you said
the first time we hit turbulence
Babe,if we need to fall several times
to a world where we can always listen
to the gentleness and the want in our voices
to the earnestness of our mistakes
to knowing that when all is said and done
we never meant to hurt each other
then its okay to have our gravity
its ok if we get grazed knees once in a while
its okay
cause everytime i fall
you are there to pick me up
you have seen me at my worst
you have seen me at my best
and still smile
and you still say hey
you are my one and only Queen
for the record
you are my one and only royal heart
and if it takes many more bruises
i will keep falling
till i'm on my knees
praying to God
to always center our gravity
so the forces in our hearts can always pull us to each other
i smiled and said
you are my gravity
i cant help myself
you parachute me a safety net
everytime we hit turbulence
and i'm about to take a plunge
and before i reach rock bottom
you ambulance a love cushion
see that's why i'm not afraid of broken ribs
cause i know if i ever land on my left
there will be a set of paramedics
with a crash kit full of earnestly felt sorry--ies
to heal my bruised heart
this heart is fragile
it can be broken by thoughtless words
just as much by periods of silence
so you have made it a habit
that every-time words evade us
you hold me close
you never ask for space
cause space has no room for falling
space has no time for gravity
space cant put your arms around me
to listen to the beat of my heart
space cant hear the forgiveness verses our love preaches
so you said
the first time we hit turbulence
Babe,if we need to fall several times
to a world where we can always listen
to the gentleness and the want in our voices
to the earnestness of our mistakes
to knowing that when all is said and done
we never meant to hurt each other
then its okay to have our gravity
its ok if we get grazed knees once in a while
its okay
cause everytime i fall
you are there to pick me up
you have seen me at my worst
you have seen me at my best
and still smile
and you still say hey
you are my one and only Queen
for the record
you are my one and only royal heart
and if it takes many more bruises
i will keep falling
till i'm on my knees
praying to God
to always center our gravity
so the forces in our hearts can always pull us to each other
Tuesday 5 November 2013
Our schools have turned into grounds of forgetting
Today,in a village there is a little girl struggling with a foreign word
Today in that village there is a teacher who punishes her for something still so alien
Today in a class,that teacher tells her she will never amount to anything
Today her self worth is crushed right before her eyes
Just because she cant let go of the very words she has heard since her cord was cut
Today in that class she will choose to believe it
Tell me again, why do we measure our worth through foreign standards
Do we have to cut our own roots to replace them with grafts so foreign
I have learnt that though grafts can sometimes work better than the original version
Sometimes nature knows the true worth of uncompensated things
Why have our schools turned into grounds of forgetting
We lose the true sense of who we are the moment we enter learning gates
and the very walls that are meant to nurture us fail us
Even Einstein said, everybody is a genius
as long as you let them perform within the boundaries of their comfort zone
let the fish swim,and birds fly
But you keep asking the fish to fly and the bird to swim
by caging us through standardized rules
is this the pursuit of true learning
Do we know the price we really pay for this sort of education
Do we know how many phrases we replace our own languages with
every-time we mould our lips to pronounce a new word in a foreign language
Its seems our hearts are garbage bags that hold native in
and foreign is a set of tea cups reserved for visitors
Do you know how dilute our accents turn in pursuit of education
A culture can never find a permanent place to settle if its owners hold it in disregard
A global village is a beautiful thing
But even greater beauty to behold is letting every man be comfortable at the sound of the very click and clang of their clan
Did you ever ask if this was also our pursuit of happiness
To teach us how to read in a language we have to translate several times to get the meaning of
Even the joy of jokes is lost the third time a joke is translated
We cannot even speak our own virgin languages
I'm sure you understand somethings are also better off heard in the very language of your own people
But you keep asking us to adapt,Adapt to whom
Is loss of self a price worth paying to learn
inspired by an article in one newspaper where someone was lamenting at how they were made fun of for speaking their own language in school.
Today in that village there is a teacher who punishes her for something still so alien
Today in a class,that teacher tells her she will never amount to anything
Today her self worth is crushed right before her eyes
Just because she cant let go of the very words she has heard since her cord was cut
Today in that class she will choose to believe it
Tell me again, why do we measure our worth through foreign standards
Do we have to cut our own roots to replace them with grafts so foreign
I have learnt that though grafts can sometimes work better than the original version
Sometimes nature knows the true worth of uncompensated things
Why have our schools turned into grounds of forgetting
We lose the true sense of who we are the moment we enter learning gates
and the very walls that are meant to nurture us fail us
Even Einstein said, everybody is a genius
as long as you let them perform within the boundaries of their comfort zone
let the fish swim,and birds fly
But you keep asking the fish to fly and the bird to swim
by caging us through standardized rules
is this the pursuit of true learning
Do we know the price we really pay for this sort of education
Do we know how many phrases we replace our own languages with
every-time we mould our lips to pronounce a new word in a foreign language
Its seems our hearts are garbage bags that hold native in
and foreign is a set of tea cups reserved for visitors
Do you know how dilute our accents turn in pursuit of education
A culture can never find a permanent place to settle if its owners hold it in disregard
A global village is a beautiful thing
But even greater beauty to behold is letting every man be comfortable at the sound of the very click and clang of their clan
Did you ever ask if this was also our pursuit of happiness
To teach us how to read in a language we have to translate several times to get the meaning of
Even the joy of jokes is lost the third time a joke is translated
We cannot even speak our own virgin languages
I'm sure you understand somethings are also better off heard in the very language of your own people
But you keep asking us to adapt,Adapt to whom
Is loss of self a price worth paying to learn
inspired by an article in one newspaper where someone was lamenting at how they were made fun of for speaking their own language in school.
Monday 4 November 2013
I cant change,even if i wanted to
You say my smile is a fire place
I know my heart
has never been a garbage bag
that holds unwanted things
and its been holding you
I know my heart
has never been a garbage bag
that holds unwanted things
and its been holding you
Sunday 27 October 2013
For You
I have been tasting loneliness at the tip of my tongue
and every-time I swallow to ease the taste
the distance creates a lump in my throat
I have a history of letting go
of things out of my sight
That's just how I deal with stuff
but for you
I long stopped looking for the exit door
I am strapped in to the core of my soul
I have given up search of things i can always find
I'm in pursuit of our lost and found
Cause i know
nothing new
can replace the flutter you leave in my gut
nothing new
can make me forget
how sweet you are
nothing new
can make this distance so great
that i cant be patient enough to watch the tick toying of seconds move me closer to you
and i wasnt lying when i said
if this is a war
I will bleed for you
till i find you whole
cause you have my heart
and my heart knows the direction of its love
even when all else seems lost
i cannot stop
thinking of you
and every-time I swallow to ease the taste
the distance creates a lump in my throat
I have a history of letting go
of things out of my sight
That's just how I deal with stuff
but for you
I long stopped looking for the exit door
I am strapped in to the core of my soul
I have given up search of things i can always find
I'm in pursuit of our lost and found
Cause i know
nothing new
can replace the flutter you leave in my gut
nothing new
can make me forget
how sweet you are
nothing new
can make this distance so great
that i cant be patient enough to watch the tick toying of seconds move me closer to you
and i wasnt lying when i said
if this is a war
I will bleed for you
till i find you whole
cause you have my heart
and my heart knows the direction of its love
even when all else seems lost
i cannot stop
thinking of you
Saturday 26 October 2013
Submit to authority :( :)
I was pitying myself a lot tonight,thinking of how i have to be in the hospital at early hours of the morning when my peers are sound asleep on weekends and a huge part of me did not want to attend tomorrow's post call rounds at all,unfortunately for me ,i accidentally clicked on Joyce Meyer's site and bang,one of the daily devotional had a verse saying
Be submissive to every human institution and authority for the sake of the Lord, whether it be to the emperor as supreme, or to governors as sent by him to bring vengeance (punishment, justice) to those who do wrong and to encourage those who do good service.
—1 Peter 2:13-14
—1 Peter 2:13-14
and all i am thinking is God why oh why,i was planning on enjoying a stolen morning but now your word is convicting me.I cannot not attend this post call ward rounds cause i have to submit to authority regardless of whether someone is watching me or not.So i will try to get there tomoro morning :(
Monday 21 October 2013
Morobanyana
My mom once said
whoever marries me should be prepared to deal with another man
See, i have allergies to submission
and committing
and anything that requires me to put another person's needs before mine
i like to do things my way at my own time
my ears are sound proof to orders
i don't believe in fairy tales or happily ever after
or scrubbing someone's back
or changing nappies and making dinner
see,
that stuff is for babies
and people
who read Cinderella
But
when you call me
Morobanyana
My ribcage submits
to beat of your knocking heart
whoever marries me should be prepared to deal with another man
See, i have allergies to submission
and committing
and anything that requires me to put another person's needs before mine
i like to do things my way at my own time
my ears are sound proof to orders
i don't believe in fairy tales or happily ever after
or scrubbing someone's back
or changing nappies and making dinner
see,
that stuff is for babies
and people
who read Cinderella
But
when you call me
Morobanyana
My ribcage submits
to beat of your knocking heart
Sunday 20 October 2013
Dear S- How she prayed
Dear S
Have you ever seen a nation pray? You should visit to see my people pray.
Those without sin are praying.Those who are sinning are praying.Those without rain are praying.Those who are flooded are praying.Those in debt are praying.Those with money are praying.Those in power are praying.Those without power are praying.Those who are corrupt are praying.Those who are tired of corruption are praying.Those who are living are praying.Those who are dying are praying.Those who cannot own businesses are praying.Those who own businesses are praying.Those whose businesses are low are praying.Even coffin sellers are praying.
The day we left my mother was praying..
She prayed long and hard like God only has ears that only listen to dissertations and have no time for blurbs or briefs.My flight nearly left. She shouted hard the demons must have grown deaf that day I tell you.Apparently demons have taken over my body and soul.That is why I do not follow leaders like I should.That is why my voice carries urgency for change .In her world demons take over everything and everyone who questions the way the system runs.The stupid demons though,they never speak up.They never say,ahh but now,you are blaming us for something we did not do.
She shouted fire! fire! holy fire! like our lives were not already burning in hell.She even sprayed some holy water on my luggage.Apparently it is the blood of Jesus covering my soul.I have often felt sorry for Jesus whose blood is always being wasted. I'm sure sure if he was human he would not get a proper blood donor by now,especially with this 1 in 4 people thing in our land.This new pastor on TV must find another way to cover things in.
Anyway i do not say this things to my mother.All she will see is a lost soul. I was even told how my demons were so stubborn,and they already required a visit to the head pastor so he could pray over my photo.That is how they exorcise stubborn demons here.
So you know me,and my desire to keep my things private.My image is still something i hold close.So i writhed like a snake.I writhed on the ground and became a contortionists overnight.I let my mouth froth the same way I have seen fitting girls and boys do in that hopeless place.I still have a few secrets I am not ready yet for her prophet to reveal if at all he is true.
But still she said prayer alone is never enough.So she went over there and she gave.Those with nothing gave.Those who were sick gave.Those who were dying gave.Those who were fearing jail,they gave.Those who had debts gave.Those who wanted more, gave.Those who believed gave.Those who doubted also gave.
And those who could pray for miracles took all that the people gave.
Anyway,even my father also gave.
You know my father ,right.He believes in the power of red.Be it powder or party or whatever .Like all these years he should have seen it yield something by now but from what i have seen,its has not yet.Its just the fear of change that keeps him relying on it.So ,i was still telling you,he gave me red powder to sprinkle in the galvanised bath and plunge myself in there.I hate the smell of metal,but you know we don't argue with our fathers over here.So instead I said yes father,I will do as you say.But you know me,even though im your savior im no where near to being obedient like Jesus even when he had so much temptation.I don't take instructions so easily do I,unless I'm puppy eyed by you of course.I do not know if my father can ever make me puppy eyed,atleast not in a romantic way but father daughter way--me and him,we don't have that kind of thing between us going on.
I cannot write much now S,thinking about my father has taken all my joy,and i cannot go on now .I will continue when i cangive you something to brighten your day
❤ M.M
Have you ever seen a nation pray? You should visit to see my people pray.
Those without sin are praying.Those who are sinning are praying.Those without rain are praying.Those who are flooded are praying.Those in debt are praying.Those with money are praying.Those in power are praying.Those without power are praying.Those who are corrupt are praying.Those who are tired of corruption are praying.Those who are living are praying.Those who are dying are praying.Those who cannot own businesses are praying.Those who own businesses are praying.Those whose businesses are low are praying.Even coffin sellers are praying.
The day we left my mother was praying..
She prayed long and hard like God only has ears that only listen to dissertations and have no time for blurbs or briefs.My flight nearly left. She shouted hard the demons must have grown deaf that day I tell you.Apparently demons have taken over my body and soul.That is why I do not follow leaders like I should.That is why my voice carries urgency for change .In her world demons take over everything and everyone who questions the way the system runs.The stupid demons though,they never speak up.They never say,ahh but now,you are blaming us for something we did not do.
She shouted fire! fire! holy fire! like our lives were not already burning in hell.She even sprayed some holy water on my luggage.Apparently it is the blood of Jesus covering my soul.I have often felt sorry for Jesus whose blood is always being wasted. I'm sure sure if he was human he would not get a proper blood donor by now,especially with this 1 in 4 people thing in our land.This new pastor on TV must find another way to cover things in.
Anyway i do not say this things to my mother.All she will see is a lost soul. I was even told how my demons were so stubborn,and they already required a visit to the head pastor so he could pray over my photo.That is how they exorcise stubborn demons here.
So you know me,and my desire to keep my things private.My image is still something i hold close.So i writhed like a snake.I writhed on the ground and became a contortionists overnight.I let my mouth froth the same way I have seen fitting girls and boys do in that hopeless place.I still have a few secrets I am not ready yet for her prophet to reveal if at all he is true.
But still she said prayer alone is never enough.So she went over there and she gave.Those with nothing gave.Those who were sick gave.Those who were dying gave.Those who were fearing jail,they gave.Those who had debts gave.Those who wanted more, gave.Those who believed gave.Those who doubted also gave.
And those who could pray for miracles took all that the people gave.
Anyway,even my father also gave.
You know my father ,right.He believes in the power of red.Be it powder or party or whatever .Like all these years he should have seen it yield something by now but from what i have seen,its has not yet.Its just the fear of change that keeps him relying on it.So ,i was still telling you,he gave me red powder to sprinkle in the galvanised bath and plunge myself in there.I hate the smell of metal,but you know we don't argue with our fathers over here.So instead I said yes father,I will do as you say.But you know me,even though im your savior im no where near to being obedient like Jesus even when he had so much temptation.I don't take instructions so easily do I,unless I'm puppy eyed by you of course.I do not know if my father can ever make me puppy eyed,atleast not in a romantic way but father daughter way--me and him,we don't have that kind of thing between us going on.
I cannot write much now S,thinking about my father has taken all my joy,and i cannot go on now .I will continue when i cangive you something to brighten your day
❤ M.M
Saturday 19 October 2013
Dear S-Why we left
Dear S
I am going to tell you myself why we left,lest you hear it from somebody else.
We did not intend to leave them to die.Intending
would mean that we had the audacity to pick what we longed for in our hearts. That
we were okay with aiding and abetting the coffin makers businesses. That at
night, when we slept, we slept soundly at the thought of our impending pilgrimage
like worry free babies. Like we were not cutting our own roots and leaving
familiar behind.
We did not carry our pooh
in pampers anymore so in our sleep we turned and tossed as we contemplated how
best to deal with all this pooh that they kept throwing in our front yards. Leaving
us in messes we did not create. We bled deeply, for our country men. We did not
have the privilege of choice or voice like you have over there. We got fed up of
murmuring under our breath at daily wakes. Our lungs became heavy and it was
hard to breath freely in our mother land. We left our world behind, whispering
couplets, quatrains and sonnets of sad goodbyes. We only meant for those who
were close enough in body and in mind, to hear why we were leaving.
Others like you, who had not seen what we had seen did not understand,they could not understand. I still hope you, even though you have not seen, you will understand, because you know well the kind of person I am.
Others like you, who had not seen what we had seen did not understand,they could not understand. I still hope you, even though you have not seen, you will understand, because you know well the kind of person I am.
I am a saviour. Remember
the day I slept on the hard floor with just a thin sheet to keep the crawling
ants away because you were afraid of the dark and the eeri noises ,even though
you knew fully well how terrified I am of crawling little things like ants, and
by morning you called me a savoir because of that. My friend, I am still a savoir.But
this war is no place for a savoir. Even Jesus himself would have walked away and never
returned for the saving of these ungrateful souls.
They shouted at us like we were saint peter and we had sold
Jesus for a few shillings. They said we had taken oaths to save lives and now
we were indulging in the seven deadly
sins, growing greedier and greedier by the day. Mind you, we never told them in
saving lives we would not want our own lives to be better. We never said we
would be strong enough to never lust for extra shillings. So I do not
understand why they call us sell outs. We never took an oath of saint-ship for
anybody .We are just flesh and blood longing for the same things that other men
faced with the temptation of a better life face.
Some of my friends’ wives married them for their potential.That
potential was not being realised there, but it seemed there were places like
Aussie and Obama-land and other places where
the promised land appeared to exist. So leaving with them was the choice they
had before they left them first.
I have no wife or husband to leave with or to leave for. But
their insults when we ask for a raise to keep or families just taken care of
have forced me to leave as well. Do not be surprised that a beautiful girl like
me, educated and kind still has no one to spoon the night away with. See,I have
not found anyone yet with whom I am deeply, intensely,willing to take a plunge
into the sea for and anchor my life to.I am still a ship at sea,searching for
my light house. I think when I find someone who I can sleep on the floor again
for,I will let myself get hooked for life. When I find my blazing flame, this
little moth shall stick around for eternity.
For now I want you to know,I am deeply sorry I let you go. I was afraid you would face insults worse than what I was facing when I left, worse still not from strangers but from my own,for loving you unnaturally. My people can be very unforgiving. I hope you will be more forgiving if ever we meet again.I hope when I arrive in the promised land you will come for me,you will take me back like you said you would that night when you first touched me ..softly. Like you did not want me to bruise as I am right now.
My face is black and blue like the sky,I want to tell you how I got bruised but right now I have run out of ink.I promise to write as soon as I unpack my boxes and find a blue inked pen.Black reminds me of many sinful things and I do not want you thinking I wrote this letter and I associated it with sin.For though I love you sinfully—as some may put it,I want you to remember the love I have for you as scarlet red,deep and bleeding for all the choices I have made that I have not been able to sleep with .goodbye for now
For now I want you to know,I am deeply sorry I let you go. I was afraid you would face insults worse than what I was facing when I left, worse still not from strangers but from my own,for loving you unnaturally. My people can be very unforgiving. I hope you will be more forgiving if ever we meet again.I hope when I arrive in the promised land you will come for me,you will take me back like you said you would that night when you first touched me ..softly. Like you did not want me to bruise as I am right now.
My face is black and blue like the sky,I want to tell you how I got bruised but right now I have run out of ink.I promise to write as soon as I unpack my boxes and find a blue inked pen.Black reminds me of many sinful things and I do not want you thinking I wrote this letter and I associated it with sin.For though I love you sinfully—as some may put it,I want you to remember the love I have for you as scarlet red,deep and bleeding for all the choices I have made that I have not been able to sleep with .goodbye for now
❤ M.M
Wednesday 9 October 2013
Its ok to feel insecure sometimes,but not to a point of paranoia
Im no marriage expert,never been married--don't even know if marriage is around the corner for me anytime soon but i have my 2cents to say about insecure partners--whether in marriage or in a relationship.Insecurity is repelling--i should write that in bold and underline it.
Seeing someone who is insecure about their partner especially in a marriage is troublesome.If you marry someone and you cant trust them,insulting every person whom you supposedly think is trying to be with your partner doesn't solve anything.The root problem is the two of you,deal with each other instead of burning bridges with whomever you come across.If you asked,you might realise perhaps that your valued significant other might be the one o o nang le mathata.Ask your partner to cease communication with their exes if you have a problem with them keeping in touch.Its a fair request and a necessary one for you marriage to regain trust if trust issues are shaky and if they respect and love you enough they will, instead of go thokela batho ba bangwe botho. Being insulted for no reason is hurtful and even the calmest individual can turn foul if you insist on going the high way..Plus whoever is disrespectful o itiga seriti le lenyalo la le heleletsa le thoka seriti. Tlhomphang malwapa a lona,le ikage ka bolona,and deal with the common denominator of your problems. You took your marriage vows and you vowed to be faithful to each other.Other people did not help you say them.no one held a gun to your heads to say them.So be faithful and ensure your partner knows you are faithful if need be mme hela if there is trouble in paradise,i would really appreciate that partners restrain themselves from the unnecessary uncivil confrontations tse o hithelwang di dirwa nkare motho o fitlhetse partnera ya gagwe e le first man or woman on earth and he or she did not have friends before they met.A civil hey, im aware you guys are friends but this is friendship is causing a strain in our marriage,would you please cease communication with my wife or husband will likely do the trick with a true friend, mme when one decides to use language i cannot even repeat le rona re simolola go ipotsa gore tota gatwe re reng.Nne re ka go fa tlotlo,ra thompha mme ka ha o iphe seriti rona re go reng .
If the partner seems to be straying deal with it,don't be soo blinded by jealousy that even people with no ulterior motives are drawn into nonsensical issues,le mo bomogoloe,cousins and just friends are suspected of other unnecessary things. Botho-courtersy-buthu in whatever language you call it,is a fundamental principle of every home-self control likewise--so not being able to handle issues like an adult one is left wondering whether you are even worthy to be paid attention to ha o thapatsa mongwe le mongwe.
Probably today's blog sounds like a vent,it is.
Seeing someone who is insecure about their partner especially in a marriage is troublesome.If you marry someone and you cant trust them,insulting every person whom you supposedly think is trying to be with your partner doesn't solve anything.The root problem is the two of you,deal with each other instead of burning bridges with whomever you come across.If you asked,you might realise perhaps that your valued significant other might be the one o o nang le mathata.Ask your partner to cease communication with their exes if you have a problem with them keeping in touch.Its a fair request and a necessary one for you marriage to regain trust if trust issues are shaky and if they respect and love you enough they will, instead of go thokela batho ba bangwe botho. Being insulted for no reason is hurtful and even the calmest individual can turn foul if you insist on going the high way..Plus whoever is disrespectful o itiga seriti le lenyalo la le heleletsa le thoka seriti. Tlhomphang malwapa a lona,le ikage ka bolona,and deal with the common denominator of your problems. You took your marriage vows and you vowed to be faithful to each other.Other people did not help you say them.no one held a gun to your heads to say them.So be faithful and ensure your partner knows you are faithful if need be mme hela if there is trouble in paradise,i would really appreciate that partners restrain themselves from the unnecessary uncivil confrontations tse o hithelwang di dirwa nkare motho o fitlhetse partnera ya gagwe e le first man or woman on earth and he or she did not have friends before they met.A civil hey, im aware you guys are friends but this is friendship is causing a strain in our marriage,would you please cease communication with my wife or husband will likely do the trick with a true friend, mme when one decides to use language i cannot even repeat le rona re simolola go ipotsa gore tota gatwe re reng.Nne re ka go fa tlotlo,ra thompha mme ka ha o iphe seriti rona re go reng .
If the partner seems to be straying deal with it,don't be soo blinded by jealousy that even people with no ulterior motives are drawn into nonsensical issues,le mo bomogoloe,cousins and just friends are suspected of other unnecessary things. Botho-courtersy-buthu in whatever language you call it,is a fundamental principle of every home-self control likewise--so not being able to handle issues like an adult one is left wondering whether you are even worthy to be paid attention to ha o thapatsa mongwe le mongwe.
Probably today's blog sounds like a vent,it is.
Tuesday 8 October 2013
The brain of a female medic
I am sitting here thinking,maybe when i grow up, i want to be a housewife.I am a physically grown up woman you see,but i still have a lot of growing up emotionally and mentally to do.It seems a tempting option to be a stay home wife,despite it being constantly disregarded as a fulfilling career.My view is,there is no better job than raising one's children oneself and doing so diligently,moreso in this era where helper stories are horrific and terrifying.I am constantly thinking of what it means to be a woman and be in my field of work.How am i going to juggle the hereafter.Being a medic and being a mother and hopefully someone's wife.At the moment,when i am in my busiest rotation,i do not even have time for myself,my health or my whatever.So i wonder is this going to change somewhere in the future.Am i suddenly going to get time out of the blue.I find myself asking more and more about specialities that allow one as much family time as possible.I dont even ask myself if i would enjoy doing that for a lifetime,when my not yet existent kids leave the nest.At times i wonder if its even worth it to specialise in any field..But my career choice is no longer just about me.It has never been just about me.It has always been a battle of generations of lobbying for school fees for those of my gender,proving that being female is not a justification for my gender not to attend school no matter how unaware i may have been of the battle.The battle has always existed.Somewhere,someone in the world is being denied the right to get an education because of what they were born as.If i give up now my academic dream to be what i wanted to be ten years back,i justify the notion that it is better to send the male child to school over the female when the choice arises-cause we are known to resign to marriage and looking after babies.So i must suck it up--continue this path and learn to love it,even fated things from the start,you can learn to love.----TBC
Tuesday 24 September 2013
perfect match
that night when you left me,you left a lump in my throat
you can still see its edges if you look through the smoke of our fire
mama taught me to not play with fire when i was young
but even now in old age i still love to keep close to your flames
honestly,the only thing i have learnt since then is to pour water on any raging regret
i would rather spend my life
with the scars of your burns to say you were here once
than carry memories spent in safety
wild fire,i still long for your intensity
you have left me for dead with your coldness
i still need you to burn so i may know just how precious life can be at the brink of ashes
i need your heat
to melt my insides
i need the steam of our bodies
the boiling passion of our longing hearts
give me one ember to come home to
one log to revive the dying embers
sometimes i find your embers still burning in spots we once met
and im reminded you are my perfect match
i still spend a lifetime hoping next time you burn
you will consume me completely
i need your storm
i need your eternal flame
i need your heat up close
to reach my aching bones,my aching heart
till everything is burning ,
till we are glowing in the radiance
of our hearts boiling in passion
from the steam of our bodies
cause you are the one match i can trust
you can still see its edges if you look through the smoke of our fire
mama taught me to not play with fire when i was young
but even now in old age i still love to keep close to your flames
honestly,the only thing i have learnt since then is to pour water on any raging regret
i would rather spend my life
with the scars of your burns to say you were here once
than carry memories spent in safety
wild fire,i still long for your intensity
you have left me for dead with your coldness
i still need you to burn so i may know just how precious life can be at the brink of ashes
i need your heat
to melt my insides
i need the steam of our bodies
the boiling passion of our longing hearts
give me one ember to come home to
one log to revive the dying embers
sometimes i find your embers still burning in spots we once met
and im reminded you are my perfect match
i still spend a lifetime hoping next time you burn
you will consume me completely
i need your storm
i need your eternal flame
i need your heat up close
to reach my aching bones,my aching heart
till everything is burning ,
till we are glowing in the radiance
of our hearts boiling in passion
from the steam of our bodies
cause you are the one match i can trust
Wednesday 18 September 2013
Skin
Stubborn inheritance
i carry you like a forgiveness prayer on the verge of death
holding everything i am,i was and i hope to be together in one plea
fiber ,bone, tendon of inflexible
generation and generation of bloodline of curse and blessing and curse and curse and curse
bargaining with God
to blend in
bargaining with God
for my dark side to be overlooked
this once
for the curse to be broken
to be one shade less darker than i carried this sin of my stubborn inheritance
i carry you like a forgiveness prayer on the verge of death
holding everything i am,i was and i hope to be together in one plea
fiber ,bone, tendon of inflexible
generation and generation of bloodline of curse and blessing and curse and curse and curse
bargaining with God
to blend in
bargaining with God
for my dark side to be overlooked
this once
for the curse to be broken
to be one shade less darker than i carried this sin of my stubborn inheritance
Tuesday 17 September 2013
If you are a cup
If you are a cup
God custom made you for a special purpose. Don't worry about being something you are not.Embrace what you are and be your best self.If I were to compare us to items made by a potter,I would say, some of us are like ordinary every day cups,bowls and plates,whereas others are like fancy tea cups with their saucers, flower vases, and all those items our mother's keep to be used by visitors once in a blue moon in the side room divider.
If you are an ordinary cup,do not wish to be more prettier or fancier --God knew that just by being your ordinary self ,your user friendly self,your purpose on this earth will be fulfilled.Your, being used everyday is what makes people grow fonder and fonder of you.That is why it is possible to cherish a cracked cup that is not remarkable in looks,yet because so many memories have been formed over the years,that one cup becomes a precious cup.Like wise,if you were born to be kept for visitors eyes,do not worry about not serving everyday.Your time to shine will come.So be patient and wait for your appointed time.Do not force your natural self to be something you are not.Just appreciate the vast difference and uniqueness we are born with and be you.
All in all,stop wishing you could have been born more prettier,more smarter,more not so nerdish and cooler,fitting in with the crowd kinda thing, more funnier,more richer,more talkative ,more quieter,more this and that.Appreciate your crooked nose,your big broad nose that takes in all the oxygen in the room,you sharp long nose,your knock knees hehehe ( i have these and i so love my knock knees ) ,your straight knees,your short legs,your long legs,your middle class status,your upper class status,your miss world looking beauty,your you are not so beautiful face but there is something special about your looks face,and be thankful for what you have at the moment.Then,through your contentment you will redefine your life and its worth and not feel so inadequate all the time :)
God custom made you for a special purpose. Don't worry about being something you are not.Embrace what you are and be your best self.If I were to compare us to items made by a potter,I would say, some of us are like ordinary every day cups,bowls and plates,whereas others are like fancy tea cups with their saucers, flower vases, and all those items our mother's keep to be used by visitors once in a blue moon in the side room divider.
If you are an ordinary cup,do not wish to be more prettier or fancier --God knew that just by being your ordinary self ,your user friendly self,your purpose on this earth will be fulfilled.Your, being used everyday is what makes people grow fonder and fonder of you.That is why it is possible to cherish a cracked cup that is not remarkable in looks,yet because so many memories have been formed over the years,that one cup becomes a precious cup.Like wise,if you were born to be kept for visitors eyes,do not worry about not serving everyday.Your time to shine will come.So be patient and wait for your appointed time.Do not force your natural self to be something you are not.Just appreciate the vast difference and uniqueness we are born with and be you.
All in all,stop wishing you could have been born more prettier,more smarter,more not so nerdish and cooler,fitting in with the crowd kinda thing, more funnier,more richer,more talkative ,more quieter,more this and that.Appreciate your crooked nose,your big broad nose that takes in all the oxygen in the room,you sharp long nose,your knock knees hehehe ( i have these and i so love my knock knees ) ,your straight knees,your short legs,your long legs,your middle class status,your upper class status,your miss world looking beauty,your you are not so beautiful face but there is something special about your looks face,and be thankful for what you have at the moment.Then,through your contentment you will redefine your life and its worth and not feel so inadequate all the time :)
Friday 13 September 2013
Far from perfect
Let me show you beneath my beautiful
I am still far from perfect
Still i want to wear my superman cape
inside out
With the hope
that once i show you who i am
and whom i'm trying to be
someday you will save me from my ugly
when my human fragility takes over
When i'm lashing and ugly
and i keep falling under
You wont give up on me
I am still far from perfect
Still i want to wear my superman cape
inside out
With the hope
that once i show you who i am
and whom i'm trying to be
someday you will save me from my ugly
when my human fragility takes over
When i'm lashing and ugly
and i keep falling under
You wont give up on me
Wednesday 11 September 2013
Money matters in love?
I have often wondered how many people would be with or without their partners if their financial status got a landslide shake and there was no hope of ever restoring it.What if God could make us see our future ,and you would know how well off your potential mate would be in 10-20 years..or how financially crippled the partner would be.Would you still chose them.Often we say money doesn't matter in love,but doesn't it really? Why is it that parents often ask about the job tittle of a partner.Why is it that some people will discourage a woman from marrying a man who earns less than her.Why is it that there is a tendency for certain potential suitors to be magnets while others are overlooked despite their good character and all..I think it has something to do with the perceived potential of being able to bring in the dollar somehow...anyway its just a thought .
Like Dolly Parton sings
''And how I wish that love Was all wed need to live
What a life wed have Cause Ive got so much to give
But ya know I feel so sad Down inside my heart
That the dollar sign Should be keepin us apart
But you know we cant Live on dreams alone
Got to pay the rent So I must leave you all alone'' D Parton
Like Dolly Parton sings
''And how I wish that love Was all wed need to live
What a life wed have Cause Ive got so much to give
But ya know I feel so sad Down inside my heart
That the dollar sign Should be keepin us apart
But you know we cant Live on dreams alone
Got to pay the rent So I must leave you all alone'' D Parton
You left me poem created from Dolly Parton's song tittles put together
I wonder where you are tonight
Do i ever cross your mind
You are now just someone i used to know
I write letters to heaven
With salt in my tears
Saying Hello God
Why,why,why
am I on heart break express
You left me,working a 9 to 5
In your coat of many colours
Just when i needed you the most
Me and Andy
You left me
Jolene,Jolene,Jolene
Please don't take him even though you can
I know you are married
and Its too late,to love me now
But you know that i love you
You know that i love
Its all wrong,but its alright
Do i ever cross your mind
You are now just someone i used to know
I write letters to heaven
With salt in my tears
Saying Hello God
Why,why,why
am I on heart break express
You left me,working a 9 to 5
In your coat of many colours
Just when i needed you the most
Me and Andy
You left me
Jolene,Jolene,Jolene
Please don't take him even though you can
I know you are married
and Its too late,to love me now
But you know that i love you
You know that i love
Its all wrong,but its alright
Friday 6 September 2013
LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP :)
I wish I was a lucky star
shooting in the horizon of your night sky
I wish I was a lucky star you looked for every time your eyes looked up
I wish you were here
I hope I deeply moved your heart
in the short time we spent together
like that moving star that keeps you smiling like God is pulling away at the edges of your mouth
while its miles and miles away
I hope I still make you smile
despite the lonely winds that keep blowing in your face
I hope you stay stead fast
I hope your love forever revolves around me
like the earth orbits around the moon day in and day out and never tires
I hope your eyes are glowing like full moons
and your body is craving for our crazy moments of hand in hand moonlight walks
and drinking to the smoking memory of our past
I hope you look at snapshots of our future
every time you think of slipping off my fingers
and see how beautiful flashlights of patience and strong will can eventually develop into
I hope you become a hooker
not to one night stands you meet in a club or a bar
but to the will to overcome hurdles of time zones ,oceans and temptations that keep trying to break us apart
Cause I believe I'm your lucky star
and you are the sun my heart has chosen to revolve around day in and day out to
and though we are time zones apart
the smiles and smiles that make every mile seem so light a period to bear
are worth being a hooker to patience to
shooting in the horizon of your night sky
I wish I was a lucky star you looked for every time your eyes looked up
I wish you were here
I hope I deeply moved your heart
in the short time we spent together
like that moving star that keeps you smiling like God is pulling away at the edges of your mouth
while its miles and miles away
I hope I still make you smile
despite the lonely winds that keep blowing in your face
I hope you stay stead fast
I hope your love forever revolves around me
like the earth orbits around the moon day in and day out and never tires
I hope your eyes are glowing like full moons
and your body is craving for our crazy moments of hand in hand moonlight walks
and drinking to the smoking memory of our past
I hope you look at snapshots of our future
every time you think of slipping off my fingers
and see how beautiful flashlights of patience and strong will can eventually develop into
I hope you become a hooker
not to one night stands you meet in a club or a bar
but to the will to overcome hurdles of time zones ,oceans and temptations that keep trying to break us apart
Cause I believe I'm your lucky star
and you are the sun my heart has chosen to revolve around day in and day out to
and though we are time zones apart
the smiles and smiles that make every mile seem so light a period to bear
are worth being a hooker to patience to
Sunday 11 August 2013
Dear Sweetheart
Dear sweetheart
aka pumpkin ,aka peaches,aka babes
aka honey,aka the sugar in my tea,aka hubby aka
i need you now
I need you, my safety pin
i need to come home to you
so you could pick out the splinters that fly out
with the words in their mouths
they hurt you know
i keep breaking
i keep breaking in places where i thought i was healing before
so on those days
when i need to feel better about my self
i want to come home to you
to your teddy bear hug
to see you fix me and watch the light in your eye
shine away the darkness in my soul
that the only thing i end up feeling sorry for
is the shortness of our God given lifespan together
i need your eyes
to see me as you see me
Beautiful
you are my gut
you are my bravery
you are my spine
you make me believe that
everything in the presence of my being increases in worth
cause
you are so incredibly out o fthis world
valuable
TO ME
aka pumpkin ,aka peaches,aka babes
aka honey,aka the sugar in my tea,aka hubby aka
i need you now
I need you, my safety pin
i need to come home to you
so you could pick out the splinters that fly out
with the words in their mouths
they hurt you know
i keep breaking
i keep breaking in places where i thought i was healing before
so on those days
when i need to feel better about my self
i want to come home to you
to your teddy bear hug
to see you fix me and watch the light in your eye
shine away the darkness in my soul
that the only thing i end up feeling sorry for
is the shortness of our God given lifespan together
i need your eyes
to see me as you see me
Beautiful
you are my gut
you are my bravery
you are my spine
you make me believe that
everything in the presence of my being increases in worth
cause
you are so incredibly out o fthis world
valuable
TO ME
splinters
it is hard to hold a conversation with a man
who carries splinters in his mouth
i told you once
you could be
a good man
who carries splinters in his mouth
i told you once
you could be
a good man
Thursday 8 August 2013
Screen shift
So,this past week has been ardous.My much beloved Toshiba decided its going get a screen shift.(I mean seriously,out of all the busiest weeks of my entire academic life you choose this particular week,Toshiba.Why the mean spirit man.Anyway,i still love you Tosh,hope you recover soon.)To make matters worse,my eye sight out of nowhere decides to be a pain too.I have been getting this peri-orbital pain,and a bit of retro-orbital pain too.I think i have dengue--My friends don't seem to agree though.They think its just another event of med school syndrome i was going through.I did have a stressful few events to their credit i must say. A few presentations to do this week so i wont be totally suprised if they are right.I don't enjoy public speaking and everytime i have to speak or present one of this power point presentations i get one of these funny issues going on with my body.This morning i thought i had a urinary tract infection cause of the number of times i so wanted to use the bathroom.I also thought i had ovarian torsion and a renal calculi.I dont know why when i am making a self diagnosis im never logical enough to chose a more believable condition.Like seriously,the pain i was feeling wasn't even close to 5/10 but there i was self diagnosing myself.Anyway,for all the late nights i had to endure this week ,i getting a holiday tommorrow.Thank you Trinidad and Tobago for being such a holiday filled country.I needed the break.
Friday 2 August 2013
Lie to me
Lie to me
When I call at
midnight.Pick up.Tell me you were just dreaming of me.Tell me, you miss my
voice.Tell me, I am the best thing that ever happened to you.Let me sleep with
a heart ballooning with how lucky I am to have you.Let your, ‘’you know I always come back
home to you '',comfort me.Let me bask in the sun rays of your well thought out lies.Even
if I catch you with her,deny it.Tell me,my eyes are seeing things that don’t exist.Say it over and over
again till I hear it soo many times I start to believe you.Let me crave for the beauty of a dying marriage held in one beautiful lie.Teach her ,to always
be your back up.To never burst my bubble.To be your alibi.Teach her to be content with
being second best.After all,she enjoys you at your very best , never sees you at your lowest
point.When you have a child with her.Abandon them so softly it feels like you
are coming right back.When she talks about child maintenance and all, threaten her.Tell
her if ever your wife finds out,she will rot in jail.This is what it means to be a
man.This is what it means to protect your family.This is what it means .Tell
her ,If I catch you again,and by some courage she learns to find her tongue
buried somewhere in her lust and tells of how you desired her,of how despite
her shooing you off like a bastard dog,the one that holds its tail between its
legs ,you will hang your head in shameful shame my heart will soften for you. After
all ,your boys have already given you a name,they call you dawg, dont they.Tell
her you know of ways you can soften me up.Tell her,your boys will laugh that
you got caught.Tell her,all you will lose is their respect for not being able to keep things hidden from your wife. Lie to me.Protect the cracks in my swelling dam.I hold so much
of you in my walls.You need me.I am your catchment area.Every secret that makes
the very soul of you is within this big body you no longer desire to drink
from.You now search for streams that momentarily quench your thirst.You have
forgotten how hard it is to build a dam.You have forgotten what it means to
walk for days in search of life saving
water so you take your greedy belly ,let it touch places it was never meant to touch.Lie to me.Tell me you love me.Lie to me.Kill me with every lie.Lie to me.Sip my dignity.Sip my life.Sip every bone of health that holds my spine.Show me how one treats goodluck
inspired by Shane Mack's song lie to me
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WeOWh0ZJQ2Q
inspired by Shane Mack's song lie to me
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WeOWh0ZJQ2Q
but now all you have is you, carrying yourself like hearse ,with a dead soul inside
I wrote this based on incidences where couples have lost each other on their wedding day.I was thinking how sad it is to lose someone on the day when your forever was just supposed to be beginning and how hard it must be to accept that the person is really gone.It goes
when his ringing tone rang on and on,unanswered for weeks
you came over to my house, resigned in your walk
i had never seen a young woman age so soon
when you had barely been soo in your teens
you hurried your way towards a death that kept picking the ones you loved before you
i had never seen a body so stricken with grief
i had never seen a group of cells so eager to commit suicide at one go
with every heavy breath you took i listened to the hate you let in with every shallow breath of oxygen
at times i pondered how many more breaths you would take before the bags under your eyes burst
and let your sorrow sink his flesh deeper and deeper into this heartless earth
i counted the times your lungs deflated with every breath
i counted every breath you had hoped eternity with him would bring
i keep thinking of the both of you even today
you said only if he was breathing and you could ask him why he had to leave so soon
but now all you have is you, carrying yourself like hearse ,with a dead soul inside
you keep telling yourself loyalty sometimes goes beyond the vows of till death do you part
but i hope you hear our plea
that though sadness never really ends
your grief someday will wane
like the waves of an ocean kissing a bank do
though it keeps coming to awaken the memories where your lives met at one time
and though you can never forget
you have to live this life for the both of you
breath in his part of oxygen if that's the only way to get back at a death that keeps picking
what you need to survive
when his ringing tone rang on and on,unanswered for weeks
you came over to my house, resigned in your walk
i had never seen a young woman age so soon
when you had barely been soo in your teens
you hurried your way towards a death that kept picking the ones you loved before you
i had never seen a body so stricken with grief
i had never seen a group of cells so eager to commit suicide at one go
with every heavy breath you took i listened to the hate you let in with every shallow breath of oxygen
at times i pondered how many more breaths you would take before the bags under your eyes burst
and let your sorrow sink his flesh deeper and deeper into this heartless earth
i counted the times your lungs deflated with every breath
i counted every breath you had hoped eternity with him would bring
i keep thinking of the both of you even today
you said only if he was breathing and you could ask him why he had to leave so soon
but now all you have is you, carrying yourself like hearse ,with a dead soul inside
you keep telling yourself loyalty sometimes goes beyond the vows of till death do you part
but i hope you hear our plea
that though sadness never really ends
your grief someday will wane
like the waves of an ocean kissing a bank do
though it keeps coming to awaken the memories where your lives met at one time
and though you can never forget
you have to live this life for the both of you
breath in his part of oxygen if that's the only way to get back at a death that keeps picking
what you need to survive
Wednesday 24 July 2013
Friends give each other some wiggle room
the guitar strings of friendship
play music worth listening to
when they are pulled
when they are pulled hard
pull me
let me show you the extent i can go without breaking
accept my high notes
my low notes
let me be the type you want to hang around with
when you have realised the finger you plug me with still hurts and you still want to play me
play with me
give me a little wiggle room
let me be a note sung out of tune sometimes
know how to laugh at my annoyances and still sing along
and pretend that i m the best song you have ever heard
i am only notes and notes trying to touch a deep soft spot somewhere
in there
friend
somedays my face will be the face you hate to look at
someday i will be the tongue whose words you wish not to hear
friend what we have is a like a hym, a wedding song, a family time tune
our friendship blends in to time and moments of laughter
of sadness
of laid back suns
and classic times
you and i hang together anywhere and everywhere
play music worth listening to
when they are pulled
when they are pulled hard
pull me
let me show you the extent i can go without breaking
accept my high notes
my low notes
let me be the type you want to hang around with
when you have realised the finger you plug me with still hurts and you still want to play me
play with me
give me a little wiggle room
let me be a note sung out of tune sometimes
know how to laugh at my annoyances and still sing along
and pretend that i m the best song you have ever heard
i am only notes and notes trying to touch a deep soft spot somewhere
in there
friend
somedays my face will be the face you hate to look at
someday i will be the tongue whose words you wish not to hear
friend what we have is a like a hym, a wedding song, a family time tune
our friendship blends in to time and moments of laughter
of sadness
of laid back suns
and classic times
you and i hang together anywhere and everywhere
Monday 22 July 2013
I don't want you clean
I want all your laundry emptied out here
where i could see every stain that has ever spilled on you
i wanna know your rough edges,where and when life dealt you a heavy blow and every stitch you have ever gotten,all the patches
i wanna know where ,when and how you are vulnerable
i wanna know things you hope nobody else ever knows
i want to be that zipper, that holds you together, when everything else is falling apart
i know somedays you will drop my heart and pick it up
but before you do
i wanna pledge you as my security
cause truth is
love isn't always a clear sky
there will be days
when your hands are bound to get a little clumsy
so i am leaving enough room for those days
when our clouds will be so pregnant our tears wont cease
but no matter how cloudied our eyes are
we will keep looking for the rainbow at the end of every storm
right now
tell me who you are
let me know if you are the vulnerability i have been searching for my whole life
and if you are
no matter what we go through
lets remain that couple that never gets tired of fixing things
where i could see every stain that has ever spilled on you
i wanna know your rough edges,where and when life dealt you a heavy blow and every stitch you have ever gotten,all the patches
i wanna know where ,when and how you are vulnerable
i wanna know things you hope nobody else ever knows
i want to be that zipper, that holds you together, when everything else is falling apart
i know somedays you will drop my heart and pick it up
but before you do
i wanna pledge you as my security
cause truth is
love isn't always a clear sky
there will be days
when your hands are bound to get a little clumsy
so i am leaving enough room for those days
when our clouds will be so pregnant our tears wont cease
but no matter how cloudied our eyes are
we will keep looking for the rainbow at the end of every storm
right now
tell me who you are
let me know if you are the vulnerability i have been searching for my whole life
and if you are
no matter what we go through
lets remain that couple that never gets tired of fixing things
Friday 19 July 2013
I know------something i wrote from the sentiments expressed by different individuals on the Trayvon Martin case
I know,i know things i don't always think i know like
I know the alphabet begins with the letter A and the letter A is a symbol of perfection and
I know perfection doesnt exist in this world
I know good grades always hang around with the number one like
I know coming first doesn't always go hand in hand with having a great mind
I know some people with great minds cant find where they store words like kind like
I know knowing about kind doesn't mean one applies the word in real life scenarios like
I know people who preach the word day in and night dont always hear what they are saying
I know preachers don't always listen to the conviction in their own voices that has the potential to change the hearts of great masses like
I know how easy it is to throw stones when one is in a mass because
I know we hide behind faces we don't always resonate with and
I know we show faces that don't always resonate with our inner self
I know falling tears don't always mean someone is sad and crying for you like
I know laughter doesn't always mean one is happy for you like
I know state representation is a basic necessity to have but not necessarily as good as representation that one can afford to have
I know its hard to see anything clearly that is dark in comparison to white when the light shining on events of a dark past is marred with inconsistencies like
I know racism is not always black and white and
I know we are taught black absorbs more heat than white like
I know whatever one receives can be multiplied and returned back to the giver
I know black sometimes gets tired of absorbing more heat and gives back as much heat as it is heated with
I know race sometimes is not the issue and somebody somewhere still makes it an issue
I know its easier to use race to hide flaws sometimes like
I know choosing to being color blind is an easy way out sometimes when it comes to solving issues
I know being a female poet is associated with writing sexiest poetry but i know there are women who write poetry challenging the mindsets of masses
I know being a black poet I shall encounter racial poems
I know racism still exist even though slavery ended years ago
I know sometimes my brother from another mother is white and understands the longing when i cant write about the things i'm sick and tired of hearing about
I know i'm sick and tired of people using the racial card every time an altercation exists between two men of color like
I know i'm looking forward to the day when nothing can be pinned down to the color of one's skin
I know that day may never exist as long as we always look at ourselves through shades of color
I know being African African doesn't give me the right to talk about African American slavery and the trail it has left behind
I know someone somewhere thinks i don't understand
I know i don't understand
I know the media perpetuates issues and makes mountains out of molehills and molehills out of mountans
I know i will never truly understand what it means to live in an America where a young lad can't walk the streets without being scared
I know every argument has two sides
I know the honest side doesn't always win
I know sometimes no matter how many times we hear the truth we don't believe it
I know even when the truth is told we sometimes want to believe what we think we know and want the truth to be
I know justice can never be enough for any life lost
I know i still don't know how imprisoning a man compensates for someone else's death
I know revenge is not always the answer
I know fear like pain sometimes clouds our judgement
I know it is easier to understand our own feelings than anybody else at any given time
I know there are thing we can never truly understand
I know sometimes giving up a fight doesn't mean we are weak
I know sometimes it is a journey to accepting our losses
I know our human urge to want to revenge a pound of flesh for flesh should be left to the man above
I know a man's conscience supersedes any other court
I know i cannot always know everything but right now i am content with what i know
I know bended knees sometimes heal wounds when the body has long stopped bleeding
I know broken things sometimes take years to mend
I know sometimes no matter how many times people try to hard to figure thinsg out they just never do
I know sometimes when i don't know,i know its easier to get closure when I say oh well, God knows why
I know the alphabet begins with the letter A and the letter A is a symbol of perfection and
I know perfection doesnt exist in this world
I know good grades always hang around with the number one like
I know coming first doesn't always go hand in hand with having a great mind
I know some people with great minds cant find where they store words like kind like
I know knowing about kind doesn't mean one applies the word in real life scenarios like
I know people who preach the word day in and night dont always hear what they are saying
I know preachers don't always listen to the conviction in their own voices that has the potential to change the hearts of great masses like
I know how easy it is to throw stones when one is in a mass because
I know we hide behind faces we don't always resonate with and
I know we show faces that don't always resonate with our inner self
I know falling tears don't always mean someone is sad and crying for you like
I know laughter doesn't always mean one is happy for you like
I know state representation is a basic necessity to have but not necessarily as good as representation that one can afford to have
I know its hard to see anything clearly that is dark in comparison to white when the light shining on events of a dark past is marred with inconsistencies like
I know racism is not always black and white and
I know we are taught black absorbs more heat than white like
I know whatever one receives can be multiplied and returned back to the giver
I know black sometimes gets tired of absorbing more heat and gives back as much heat as it is heated with
I know race sometimes is not the issue and somebody somewhere still makes it an issue
I know its easier to use race to hide flaws sometimes like
I know choosing to being color blind is an easy way out sometimes when it comes to solving issues
I know being a female poet is associated with writing sexiest poetry but i know there are women who write poetry challenging the mindsets of masses
I know being a black poet I shall encounter racial poems
I know racism still exist even though slavery ended years ago
I know sometimes my brother from another mother is white and understands the longing when i cant write about the things i'm sick and tired of hearing about
I know i'm sick and tired of people using the racial card every time an altercation exists between two men of color like
I know i'm looking forward to the day when nothing can be pinned down to the color of one's skin
I know that day may never exist as long as we always look at ourselves through shades of color
I know being African African doesn't give me the right to talk about African American slavery and the trail it has left behind
I know someone somewhere thinks i don't understand
I know i don't understand
I know the media perpetuates issues and makes mountains out of molehills and molehills out of mountans
I know i will never truly understand what it means to live in an America where a young lad can't walk the streets without being scared
I know every argument has two sides
I know the honest side doesn't always win
I know sometimes no matter how many times we hear the truth we don't believe it
I know even when the truth is told we sometimes want to believe what we think we know and want the truth to be
I know justice can never be enough for any life lost
I know i still don't know how imprisoning a man compensates for someone else's death
I know revenge is not always the answer
I know fear like pain sometimes clouds our judgement
I know it is easier to understand our own feelings than anybody else at any given time
I know there are thing we can never truly understand
I know sometimes giving up a fight doesn't mean we are weak
I know sometimes it is a journey to accepting our losses
I know our human urge to want to revenge a pound of flesh for flesh should be left to the man above
I know a man's conscience supersedes any other court
I know i cannot always know everything but right now i am content with what i know
I know bended knees sometimes heal wounds when the body has long stopped bleeding
I know broken things sometimes take years to mend
I know sometimes no matter how many times people try to hard to figure thinsg out they just never do
I know sometimes when i don't know,i know its easier to get closure when I say oh well, God knows why
Thursday 18 July 2013
Miss you.But i never met you
Today i wrote your name at the bottom of my dinner plate
pictured how you chew your food
do you take in huge chunks or you prefer little bites
Do you sip coffee after each bite
longing for nights when your silhouette belonged to the blend and the cries
of peaceful nights
There are days when i unplug my safety belt
and converse with you stranger,like a long lost friend
feel like we have walked a mile together
and talked every sentence before
feel you listen to the rhythm of my longing heart
Often wondering if somewhere we lived a past life together
Cause even now i feel
I have missed you for the longest while
pictured how you chew your food
do you take in huge chunks or you prefer little bites
Do you sip coffee after each bite
longing for nights when your silhouette belonged to the blend and the cries
of peaceful nights
There are days when i unplug my safety belt
and converse with you stranger,like a long lost friend
feel like we have walked a mile together
and talked every sentence before
feel you listen to the rhythm of my longing heart
Often wondering if somewhere we lived a past life together
Cause even now i feel
I have missed you for the longest while
My heart,is an empty pair of shoes
The summer i told you
i think forever will be too short
You looked at me
with a glowing chest
and even though i promised
i would never write another cheesy love poem
i found myself talking to the birds and bees
about how sweet the nectar
of your kindness touched my hungry lips
you brought me a dozen of sweet flowers
to suck the nectarine in every chamber
overflowing with the goodness of your glowing heart
and i loved you
from the moment i said
yes,i will be yours forever and in the coming afterlife
even if i have to be a ghost so you can still feel my presence
as long as you are still holding onto me
our knees have known days
when forever seemed a faraway dream
but somehow we have wiped the uncertainty of our love story to write it again and again on a new slate
love
i'm offering you my all
my grain of truth
every speck in my eye
this is my pound of flesh
promising i will do my very best
to cushion you when we fall
and when it hurts the most
because babe,i need you
i need you to fill the bits
of memories men regret
when they are lying on their deaths beds
and wondering what joy this life bought
i want you to be that wandering star in my dark
that glowing lighthouse in my storm
my heart, is an empty pair of shoes
waiting for your feet
to walk this life journey with me
Happy me :)
Some people own shadows that glow in the dark
find you in stark sweltering heat
panting and panting with near exhaustion
protect the living daylights out of you
and all you can do is gasp and say Wow,God!
So you still make angels in the image of living men
find you in stark sweltering heat
panting and panting with near exhaustion
protect the living daylights out of you
and all you can do is gasp and say Wow,God!
So you still make angels in the image of living men
Monday 8 July 2013
My poem
My poem belongs to you more than me.
My poem loves to hold on to the tragus of your listening ear making its way to you cochlear
to rhyme your name to the resonance and assonance of the S in your Surname
My poem
My poem clings and clangs against my tongue like the tongues of the first people who rightfully owned the land
you own me
by birthright by fate by everything in me giving myself to you,you own me
you own my mind my soul my depth my surface you own me
My poem cannot buy my thoughts to escape from the bondage of thinking of you,about you,with or without you
My poem
My poem uncompromisingly smiles for you,hopes to drop your name in every line,let you show up unexpectedly as the main subject of the poet
My poem
My poem strokes your neck ,passes fingers in the cornrows of your dreads to feel the softness of your scalp and hopes to come up with the secret of your trance on me
My poem
My poem
wont let me read other stuff unless i write a poem about you, for you entitled
My poem
My poem loves to hold on to the tragus of your listening ear making its way to you cochlear
to rhyme your name to the resonance and assonance of the S in your Surname
My poem
My poem clings and clangs against my tongue like the tongues of the first people who rightfully owned the land
you own me
by birthright by fate by everything in me giving myself to you,you own me
you own my mind my soul my depth my surface you own me
My poem cannot buy my thoughts to escape from the bondage of thinking of you,about you,with or without you
My poem
My poem uncompromisingly smiles for you,hopes to drop your name in every line,let you show up unexpectedly as the main subject of the poet
My poem
My poem strokes your neck ,passes fingers in the cornrows of your dreads to feel the softness of your scalp and hopes to come up with the secret of your trance on me
My poem
My poem
wont let me read other stuff unless i write a poem about you, for you entitled
My poem
Saturday 6 July 2013
I am a poet because of you
I rarely tell the story of how i first fell in love with poetry,perhaps because it was a love that crept on me and tripped me unaware and so i never marked into permanent existence the significant milestones that marked the beginning of our relationship.What i do remember is my first intense exposure to poetry ,to the likes of Angelou ,Keats, Shakespeare ,Kipling and many others took place in PL4, Mater Spei College under the tutelage of the late Mma Gaolathe. A teacher who could make you love words like you needed them more desperately than a scuba diver heading to the surface of an oxygen rich ocean and hungry for a gasp.She had class-not the kind where we sat in and listened to her song like mesmerizing recitals-no.The kind of stylish class you take in with your eyes hoping the more you watch her every move the more of it you could posses .She owned eloquence and she possessed an air that compelled her students to want to do well,not only for themselves but for her.I must say my first test with her though was a flop.I was the last in the class and i was soo hurt because i wanted to prove to her how capable i was.
My hurt was transferred onto ink and paper and this was the path that i would persist in for the second decade of my life whenever my emotions got the better of me.I would write for relief.I must say even though Mma Gaolathe never got to see the fruits of her hard work,i did ace my literature classes in my final year of high school under the tutelage of many other great teachers among them Mr Chester,and some whose names elude me now.In my heart my literature my was a dedication to the teacher and mother figure who evoked in me the urge to want to do better--to speak the Queen's language like i owned it and to express my inner self freely in the confines of blank paper and black ink,something i was taught was taboo.The ability to speak freely and express one's emotions to one's heart's content is often labelled as go phadimoga but poetry gave me a platform where i could freely do so and still retain my dignity.
I never considered myself a poet or a writer.Those who read my works though would shock me with squeals of disbelief at my capabilities at penning things down,and making them relate to characters they had never met and emotions they had felt before .So perhaps it was the occasional praise of friends,house and room mates ,of current and former boyfriend(s) who all, unfortunately had to endure hours of reading what i wrote and sometimes scraps that were not edited in the namesake of love.My parents, i must say are hardly surprised by the things i am (by the abundant grace and favor of God ) capable of but they too have had instances were they recognized my writing and still went on to ask in sheer delightful disbelief if i really wrote what i did . Perhaps the one encouragement that hit home the most was that of my late Uncle,whom we fondly called Gg who used to say i wrote along the ranks of the great Achebe that really got me thinking ohh well,why don't i give this writing thing a try.I wish my Uncle was here today to read my book.He was so proud of me that even though I am bull's eye certain that i am nothing close to the likes of the great Achebe, he would still have thought the world of me.Rest in peace Gg.Heart for Rent is dedicated to you ,and the faith you had in me.
I am grateful for all who have been inspiring cornerstones,giving me material to write about.I am grateful for my boyfriend who understands my passion for poetry and who despite his not been so mushy mushy and soft, would still spend time listening with me poetry recitals online when he can and once in a while pays me a vey scarce but more meaningful compliment when he says, hey,i read your poem,that one is a good poem,you have skills mami.Last but most importantly i'm grateful for the friends i have made online simply because they read something i wrote and love it and take time to tell me about what they liked and what they didnt ,im grateful for the strangers who have inboxed and said there is something about the way you write because in ll honesty ,even though i write for my self ,to quiet my own emotions,my own insecurities,to analyse the things around me , once i strike a chord in your heart that resonates with mine,i feel connected to something bigger than just me--and that makes me feel alive.So thank you for stopping by .Thank you for the likes.Thank you for the encouragement.I am a poet because of you
If you want to grab Heart for Rent,it is is now available for purchase at Botswana Book World, Francistown for only P40.
My hurt was transferred onto ink and paper and this was the path that i would persist in for the second decade of my life whenever my emotions got the better of me.I would write for relief.I must say even though Mma Gaolathe never got to see the fruits of her hard work,i did ace my literature classes in my final year of high school under the tutelage of many other great teachers among them Mr Chester,and some whose names elude me now.In my heart my literature my was a dedication to the teacher and mother figure who evoked in me the urge to want to do better--to speak the Queen's language like i owned it and to express my inner self freely in the confines of blank paper and black ink,something i was taught was taboo.The ability to speak freely and express one's emotions to one's heart's content is often labelled as go phadimoga but poetry gave me a platform where i could freely do so and still retain my dignity.
I never considered myself a poet or a writer.Those who read my works though would shock me with squeals of disbelief at my capabilities at penning things down,and making them relate to characters they had never met and emotions they had felt before .So perhaps it was the occasional praise of friends,house and room mates ,of current and former boyfriend(s) who all, unfortunately had to endure hours of reading what i wrote and sometimes scraps that were not edited in the namesake of love.My parents, i must say are hardly surprised by the things i am (by the abundant grace and favor of God ) capable of but they too have had instances were they recognized my writing and still went on to ask in sheer delightful disbelief if i really wrote what i did . Perhaps the one encouragement that hit home the most was that of my late Uncle,whom we fondly called Gg who used to say i wrote along the ranks of the great Achebe that really got me thinking ohh well,why don't i give this writing thing a try.I wish my Uncle was here today to read my book.He was so proud of me that even though I am bull's eye certain that i am nothing close to the likes of the great Achebe, he would still have thought the world of me.Rest in peace Gg.Heart for Rent is dedicated to you ,and the faith you had in me.
I am grateful for all who have been inspiring cornerstones,giving me material to write about.I am grateful for my boyfriend who understands my passion for poetry and who despite his not been so mushy mushy and soft, would still spend time listening with me poetry recitals online when he can and once in a while pays me a vey scarce but more meaningful compliment when he says, hey,i read your poem,that one is a good poem,you have skills mami.Last but most importantly i'm grateful for the friends i have made online simply because they read something i wrote and love it and take time to tell me about what they liked and what they didnt ,im grateful for the strangers who have inboxed and said there is something about the way you write because in ll honesty ,even though i write for my self ,to quiet my own emotions,my own insecurities,to analyse the things around me , once i strike a chord in your heart that resonates with mine,i feel connected to something bigger than just me--and that makes me feel alive.So thank you for stopping by .Thank you for the likes.Thank you for the encouragement.I am a poet because of you
If you want to grab Heart for Rent,it is is now available for purchase at Botswana Book World, Francistown for only P40.
Friday 5 July 2013
Love is like a set of teeth
love is like a set of perfect milk teeth
the kind a school nurse inspects with sheer childlike disbelief wondering if they are truly yours
and checks them out for cavities and stains and still finds none
and when you smile wide back at her
like a 3 year old toddler with the cutest smile
melting away any suspicions she held
she finally admits you have a perfect kind of milk teeth which she wishes would forever exists
but truth is, new love like the first set of teeth always fall out
making way for a more permanent kind of deep rooted existence
sometimes arriving painfully
like a molar tooth pushing through thick gums of differences
of different races,expectations,communication barriers
but love still makes it
and when love makes it we forget the pain
and we forget that love like a painful tooth makes you ache so much sometimes
you cant eat or sleep when you think about the pain it puts you through
even when you have done nothing wrong
and sometimes love like a fallen out tooth stays away for years
and you get used to the gap in your gums but when it comes back
you squeal in sheer delight
that your tooth finally showed up
you remember that teeth like love can bring you joy
when you take care of them accordingly
when you brush them gently and floss and gargle
and protect them from hot and cold things
like hot people who are cold hearted and can break your heart if you entertain them
and sometimes love like a set of dentures is not the original kind
its tailor made to fit but it will never be truly yours
but it still serves its purpose and you embrace what you have for now
and don't complain
because this set of teeth is like having a second chance at life
and you are willing to make right the mistakes that destroyed your former teeth by taking care of this set no matter how fake these set is
Wednesday 26 June 2013
I love my boy- friends.............................and my girlfriends too
Yah,i said boyfriends--not boyfriend cause i am not talking about the romantic kind of love for my boys--but rather the friendship kind---and they are about 6-8.I don't really count them so i am not exactly sure how many of them i have.The thing is my tsa kalahi crew is one big group of all Batswana students in one study group right,so we hang out together everyday on weekend days plus Sundays .Now you would think i love this guys because they are nice or something like that,but its far from the truth--these guys are mean--like capital M.E.A.N--Just kidding---they are very nice guys even though they have made me cry--have annoyed me---have upset me but at the end of the day they are now more of family than just friends and i know they are my good friends.They push me to my limits eg they are very much aware of my shyness and during clinics when we are supposed to examine patients they will tell me that if the day passes by without me examining a patient im getting punishment --sometimes they threaten me with buying them lunch or examining more patients after school hours so in a way i end up loosing my shy cocoon.Today i got the threat and knowing me and my not wanting to part with my money --i was examining patients like tomorrow was my final year osce exam.One thing for sure is after 4 years of attending the same classes and meeting every saturday with these guys ,eating lunch with them and all the like--when we finally take different paths next year June ,Im gonna miss them,esp Mr B--who never tires of escorting me from Mt Hope to Champfleurs no matter what time of the day or night.Thanks my friend. Mma Sp--the insanity gal-Didi--what would i do without you my tech man ,by the way my computer is acting up--so when can i come over so you help ,Dims---my 2nd father lol--and yes im younger than your first born neh ---Chief--wena! i still have beef against you and no you are not my closet friend ,ke go ngaletse--ga ke go buise and when you see me don't even say hi tommorrow --Ms Lala-the one who understands my love for poetry and the rest of the things you all dont get --Vero--my level headed friend--Skebaba-the only one who never argues with me--breath of fresh air i tell you--why cant you all be like Skebaba--Mr G--i behave when he is around,mogolo :) Phatsi-ohh your kindness gal--the tea and the chocolate you can never be on my wrong side since that girl,and o gaisitse Ms Lala--cause the way to my heart is through my stomach -Cathy-the prayer warrior ---Rodgie---eyi---i have been writing out blue prints since six because of you man ahhh...thats what one gets from having nerdy friends like you,Chris---wena you are always right .no argument.....Lol...anyway let me hit them books before im scolded by the famous Tsa Kalahi Crew ---but before i do--Im grateful i met all of you guys--if i go to the other side before you do --remember that all your friendships meant the world to me and im glad fate let our paths cross.Cant wait for the next time i frighten you all by crying at our next study group meeting after an argument---its so nice to see you all shaken when im upset lol...
Sunday 23 June 2013
we are the future leaders of tomorrow and today
its dawning---I am an adult.Its no longer about who can do what but what i can do .I just read an article about soap that can prevent malaria and it hit me that we are the young minds that are supposed to be coming up with this inventions to curb the problems of our people.No one is going to come and change things for us.
Wednesday 19 June 2013
Fighting for my distinction lol--took the fight to facebook
i took my MBBS distinction fight to facebook man ..this final exam thing is real--just 11months away ...my cover page and profile pic are medical conditions pictures man --i am waging a warfare for my degree man..no one takes pity when one fails so i'm really trying my best ---i have even started a blog on mnemnoics and memory aids just cause i tend to lose notes when i write on lose pieces of paper :) anyway i just put my what to od before 25 list to remind me of the thing i need to do before 25 again ..ohh that 5 dollars i won yesterday came in handy this morning
DAY 1
Donate clothes
You no longer use
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DAY 2
Give away some books you don’t use
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DAY 3
Volunteer at a shelter
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DAY 4
Write prisoners letters-I feel guilty about a letter from a prisoner who once wrote me and I never replied
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DAY 5
Walk from Champ Fleurs to Trincity and back
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DAY 6
Go fishing
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DAY 7
Go ice skating
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DAY 8
Learn sign language
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DAY 9
Learn to say “hello” in 50 languages.
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DAY10
Learn how toBelly Dance
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DAY11
Pay for someone’s lunch
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DAY12
Finish the fiction in my online library
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DAY 13
Start a happiness project
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DAY 14
Make a difference in at least one person’s life.
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DAY15
Write and publish a novel
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DAY 16
Audition for makeup modelling
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DAY 17
Gain a Readership of over 10000people by December 2013 for The SEED magazine
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DAY 18
Uplift someone’s spirit
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DAY 19
Graduate with distinction Jtough one
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DAY 20
Get my blog to 10000views by Novemeber 3 2013
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DAY 21
Create enough passive income so that you don’t have to work another day in your life.
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DAY 22
Live on 25tt a day for 25days
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DAY 23
Get an ideal 4bedroomed home
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DAY 24
Visit a mosque
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DAY25
Run a Marathon
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Day 26
Learn how to apply eye liner, and eye shadow
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Day 27
Try a new hair style
You have never done before
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Day 28
Rehearse and recite poetry in front of an audience
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Day 29
Buy myself red roses and share them till I remain with one
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Day 30
Watch the top 20 movies of all time
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