I was born with a trembling heart
a set of arms
always opening closets
instead of pulling triggers
see
where i come from
strong arms pull triggers
and those that  don't,
survive by knowing the truth
to escape in time
arms don't hold things
they don't untangle undying  knots
 like the knots in my stomach
that keep filling a bottomless pit
every-time you try to hold me close
see i have never done close before
without closing off
i cant sleep through the sound of your beating heart
when it comes that close
it keeps me awake mining  for truths you are hiding
 in jackets and pockets of last night 's meetings
and overseas travels and working late
cause i don't understand cosiness
that comes at no prize
nothing is free in this world
i understand bruises as blue as the sky
and denial in layers of make up
and i know love hurts
strangers cannot touch your heart
but lovers can rip it out of chest cause they know where exactly you keep them
my grandmother says during their time they were told to not mine for truths
that they were not ready to find
but i would rather unearth bombs before they blow in my face
cause i'm scared of explosions i never see coming