The brain of a female medic

I am sitting here thinking,maybe when i grow up, i want to be a housewife.I am a physically grown up woman you see,but i still have a lot of growing up emotionally and mentally to do.It seems a tempting option to be a stay home wife,despite it being constantly disregarded as a fulfilling career.My view is,there is no better job than raising one's children oneself and doing so diligently,moreso in this era where helper stories are horrific and terrifying.I am constantly thinking of what it means to be a woman and be in my field of work.How am i going to juggle the hereafter.Being a medic and being a mother and hopefully someone's wife.At the moment,when i am in my busiest rotation,i do not even have time for myself,my health or my whatever.So i wonder is this going to change somewhere in the future.Am i suddenly going to get time out of the blue.I find myself asking more and more about specialities that allow one as much family time as possible.I dont even ask myself if i would enjoy doing that for a lifetime,when my not yet existent kids leave the nest.At times i wonder if its even worth it to specialise in any field..But my career choice is no longer just about me.It has never been just about me.It has always  been a battle of generations of lobbying for school fees for those of my gender,proving that being female is not a justification for my gender not to attend school no matter how unaware i may have been of the battle.The battle has always existed.Somewhere,someone in the world is being denied the right to get an education because of what they were born as.If i give up now my academic dream to be what i wanted to be ten years back,i justify the notion that it is better to send the male child to school over the female when the choice arises-cause we are known to resign to marriage and looking after babies.So i must suck it up--continue this path and learn to love it,even fated things from the start,you can learn to love.----TBC