Facebook- Love and Commitment

Today i am taking a peep into the role played by social networks especially my favorite social network --Facebook in love  dynamics --Facebook has changed the whole dating scenario--from making a relationship public or leaving your relationship solely to the privacy o f your own home,  to  updating or not updating relationship statuses,to who you be-friend--talk to,stalk---poke to old crushes you search and reconnect with and exes who block you from their walls and who you block --to updates that have hidden meanings---to using friends' facebook to stalk people who have blocked you--to monitoring who is talking with who and not talkinng to you-to being told who you could talk to,who you should delete-to who is updating statuses and ignoring your messages--to the new seen with inboxes  :(

God knows i could do quite well with the absence of  message seen  and not having to explain myself everytime when im not in the mood for a  conversation--denial of the truth is soothing at times--knowing you are being ignored or ignoring someone is a  heavy blow that could cause sleepless night-lol..yah..facebook is a whole new universe with totally different communication schemes isn't it,and don't ask me how i know about  all these.Women are known to be very good detectives when it comes to matters of the heart--and mind you  i am one woman and a half...

Over the weekend,a friend of mine whom i was arguing with over our progress on matters of rites of passage--you know the birth, puberty ,marriage and death rites said a very profound statement  -he said we  are in the same boat-the fact that i have my relationship status updated as in a relationship and he has not updated his--we are both essentially single--and we have only gone through two rights of passage as far as the rights of passage are concerned--he did mention my facebook status doesn't really stand to prove anything ----to a certain extent i do agree with him because whether we like it or not --in real life we have single boxes tick---no ,its complicated,or in a committed relationship or open relationship....or all the stuff facebook offers us to chose from

On the same note--another friend did mention that love and commitment cannot be merely proved by an update...it runs way deeper than that---its what is done behind the scenes that matters..no matter how much you may want or not what that status of your significant other to justify whatever you wish your statuses to be--a coerced update does nothing to help...commitment like everything else in life is a matter of choice--and God gave us free will with the understanding that what we choose to do out of our own will,we do it wholeheartedly.

 I was also made aware that so many fights ensue over facebook,despite the  happy couple pictures updated--people put on a front  to show how happy they are and will go on to be lovey dovey on each other's walls while the inboxes are seething with heated debates and anger and resentment---some even go to the extent of logging in a partner's facebook wall to write a  >3 --u know the heart symbol --on their own wall --i just had to laugh at this and people do go to the extent of breaking  up because of a message left on somebody's wall that was misinterpreted--or only went to  reveal a lot more than what one thought they knew.

The thing about fighting on facebook though,and re updating your status to single in the scrutinizing  eyes of the general public is those who have been waiting to pounce at a chance to be with you or the significant half may also have this confidence that online flirting seems to bring to the table--they take the opportunity to offer a shoulder to cry on--and possibly destroy every chance the two of you may have had at reconciliation--then comes the stalking--to see if you are as happy with the new person--to see who has moved on with who--to see how you are generally doing-if you are crumbling down sometimes--if you think about them sometimes,if you miss them --if you have taken down the pics that used to adorn your profile page ...Dynamics hey--To make matters worse, i was informed some courts now recognize evidence from  facebook  in facilitating  divorce proceedings--in some cases people have known that they were ''played'' through facebook and have gotten in touch to find out the truth via facebook.

I am still not sure which option is best when it comes to relationships and facebook
 -to keep your private life to yourself and your loved ones--you know the people who really matter  or the fact that you update because you have nothing to hide --- i think leaving a little room for mystery is healthy--and trusting partners to be smart enough to make accountable decisions goes a long way and could save one from plenty heart ache --but what do i know---im a Youngling when it comes to matters of the heart :)

Anyway i have said  a mouthful   and i'm really tired today---so chao --till i blog again--in the meantime i'm gonna make a few more observations


(Ke le Mma Gee ka namana--
the one and only ---
Lo--
Ngumbadzebgwe-
Maituba--
Ngwana wa Jafu na Galani--ke a ipoka bagaetsho--ha o sa ipoke o ta bokiwa ke mang )


PS I must admit i have been in denial--i do love blogging about love and relationships--and marriage lol-there -i said it-Grash and Motanki--i finally acknowledge that your observation is  true :)