Sunday 19 May 2013

Why i stopped going to church and why i am planning on going back

Sometimes i feel like God is chasing after me...everywhere i go i am surrounded by God fearing people.God knows i'm a naughty kid at heart so this little angels who keep me sane are highly needed.Today i listened to two sermons online,in the middle of one sermon i thought of how long it has been since i last went to worship in a church even though i get invites from time to time.I think perhaps the pastor's vision about me becoming a pastor some day still has a chance of becoming true...yah,once upon a time i visited a church with my mom and the pastor was like Mma Wada,what would you say if one day your girl decides to quit school and be a pastor.To tell the truth i was upset...this was before the era of holy bottled water that costs P75 per bottle  which you do get in the general grocery store at P5--prayer is expensive bazelwane --apparently this bottled water you keep refilling with tap water when its like reaching the bottom and continue to use, and you sprinkle on your body and you can give your neighbour a teaspoonful to go use for healing and other stuff like prosperity at their house.

I know a church calling should get me excited and grateful to serve the Lord but at the time i saw pastoring or any work in the church as a form of begging.Gakere all the churches i have been too the sermon always ends with money talk so yah i was so sad that my life would be reduced to a life of begging  and i even told my mom i didn't think the pastor was a genuine man of God after the service.Why would he say something like that,that was my education he was toying prophesying about...so yah,that incident kind of got me in this role of criticizing churches--i started seeing them as just one other form of running a tax free business...no one keeps audits in check in church,tithes come in and if you are  a pastor who is able to mobilise people to dig deep in their pockets you can have a BMW debt free, a mansion you never bought a brick for and your bills and your food will be paid for by the congregation that takes care of the daddy of the church.In addition i hated the fact that you had to dress up every Sunday,the competition as to who is dressed best is ongoing,its like something you know is happening but no one really ever informs you about.The fact that i was also raised from  a not so christian foundation family didn't help either..i am or was constantly questioning the existence of this one true God...

  A friend of mine asked me if its alright to keep going to church if you have a sin you are aware of and are not ready to give up..i looked at her and said--everybody in a church has a sin,gakere this thing about going to church is to try to mould you with the potter's hands,you are a work in progress---so while answering her i answered my own critical human voice--i may have plenty sin in my own life but i do need God..and he has been chasing me faithfully to take me home,now i am ready to be  caught--and people in the church may abuse church resources ,even if that may be wrong it is not my place to judge or condemn.God has the final say---so next time you see me in church just think of me as the she Moses who was kept in the wilderness for 40years in preparation for the calling -- its been a year with me  out of church but it still is the wilderness--so yah,maybe one day i will be a pastor--if i do you guys should seriously come to my church--i will pray that your tithes bring you prosperity--mind you,when i pray things happen--eg i sometimes pray that just one person  reads my life experiences and you did --so you see i am a powerful pastor already :) chao

PS i also have met  really genuine Christians who have taught me more about God's love by their actions rather than their speech

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