We need to talk

seems like an ice cold statement to make hey,but we do need to talk.we have been beating around the bush for a while.we need to talk about issues affecting us,we need to open closed doors, dig out stuff we don't want exposed-expose it-u know,dirty laundry needs to be  aired a bit--its for our own good.

lets talk to our brothers and sisters,talk to our mothers and our fathers, talk till we can't talk no more.there are so many silences resounding its deafening.we  keep this silences close to our chests,hug them like our lives depend on them yet these silences are  suffocating us, killing us one by one like flies,we need to open up about relationships and how they are not fairy tales ...

talking to your siblings or your children about the complexity of human relations is  a must if you love them...this dying thing is real man and our shame and our  un-comfortableness should pale in comparison to seeing someone we love die...well we are all going to die,but we can make choices that clear us from certain ways we could potentially die

a few days ago,  i came across a blog called diaryofazulugirl,well written i must say-but i must also mention it kinda has a bit of  PG content,that is, if you cant handle certain strong words you might be wary of checking it out,but otherwise it is a must read--its such a vivid diary you cant help but evaluate your own values and your own choices with regards to the HIV issue,

it talks about the life of a young zulu girl who goes to JHB to study law and  is exposed to ''good living,'' good in quotes cause really her fast life is thriving because of sugar daddies so it's not as good as it seems.it got me thinking,Sub- saharan Africa lives in an ERA of HIV,with almost 40 or so percent of Batswana infected by  HIV -

but has any of our family members ever sat us  down,and said:

1. hey HIV is real,or are we just told in passing that you ''have now started to grow horns and you will die of your ways''--''o mela dinaka''  and are we not only told that going out at night will kill us--we neglect that HIV has no respect for day or night-if there is bodily fluid contact whether day or night and one is infected the possibility of infection is there -lets stop the parables-call a spade a spade-and this days we need to open up to our children about the facts,after all we live in  a generation where we have a good number of children who were infected at birth and during pregnancy-and with games such as mantlwane aka playing house,and black ma mpatile  ,and the more modern spin the bottle  we can not live on assumption that all play is squeaky clean-children need to be aware that play may just be as equally dangerous to their lives


2. this is how you use a condom,unless maybe your aunt is  a matron or  a doctor or something in the health sector and is willing to give you all a lecture and a demo,i'm pretty sure the only time you saw condom demonstration was in a crowded hall of over 200 students ,with bad lightning and some representative trying to explain over heads and heads of giggling shy students how a condom is used--such a life saving procedure not adequately drilled into our heads and when one starts experimenting later on, is it a surprise that one of the top reasons people give when pregnant is the condom broke,i guess not

3. you do understand that going for HIV testing with your partner and testing negative doesn't mean you will be negative for life do you,we all know of the term back love-you part ways to reconnect later in life-sad thing is love make sus foolish sometimes-you forget that in those moments you parted you both had lives-and some do more than just living-when you get back issues of retesting never suffice-after all you did test the first time

4.do you know about window period

5.do you know you could test HIV negative today and  one frustration the next day results in one of  you cheating and in trying to protect the other party such issues are never disclosed

6.familiarity breeds a false illusion of safety-and you never know someone,just because you have been together for a while and things are great doesn't mean you are safe

7.a condom costs less than a life time of medications-make good choices while you can

8.if you become  infected,do the right thing and take care of those you  love-be honest with them,from the start-the heat of the moment might not allow you to tell all

9.everybody,absolutely everyone is at risk

10.tomoro we will look at how to be positively positive and be the best one can be