Why I love my past

My past
you are beautiful!
Soo beautiful
like a beautiful woman unsettles grown up men -leaving  them acting like two year olds'
 giggling and google eyed to you --soo  star struck by you --just happy to have been said hi to---just happy to have been  seen by you--just happy to have been held by you--just happy to have lived with you

You are that beautiful

you keep me bonded to you
the way old grief holds one in gently
glued in
taken in
wanting a scene where once we both stood,where once we were happy


You wide eyed
brimming with curiosity
wanting to know what my future would  look like
a year or soo

I want you to know
My future  looks so much like you
Its an entire replica of you
only with modified genes of what you learnt will work and what won't

Every where i go--i see you
reflected in the choices i make
telling me why i can't and shouldn't do this
and like an old husband who knows his wife knows him well
i sometimes listen to you

and when i don't
 i  always know how to come back to you
i call you experience
telling you how valuable you are to me


I want you to know

My Present is full of you
all the curves where we  took our wrong turns at keep popping up
reminding me how though you have walked away
i still think of you
you are all that i have known
and all that i will ,with  all certainty ever know

Some days i  lament of  days we spent together
tell people how good you were to me
I  say to them
Remember the good old days
how i have seen none like them

But even then you dont come back to me
you  never come back to me
and you forget me
 little by little you forget me
and i sometimes  forget you too

and when i think i have forgotten you
you think of me
and come back
in snippets of memory
and dates
and corners where we once stood
and you come back to get me