part 3

Even though i was a saint on most days,there were days i went wild.I still have those mercurial tendencies even today as an adult.People who dont know me well think i am angelic,those who have lived with me long enough know i am unpredictable.Its something i have embraced about my character.People prefer a predictable person,one who does good all the time,is loyal and all that,and even though i would love to be such,i console myself that whatever character trait i have,its there for a reason,unpredictability makes life colourful after all.I learnt at a younger age,that people naturally have a high tolerance for the ''wicked ways'' of men in comparison to females.Something that my brother could easily get away  with,i would be punished for severely.For instance,if my brother played out all day,and came home just before the sinking of the sun,he would be applauded for having made it on time.I on the other hand,would be admonished.What kind of a woman would i grow up to be? I think i loved to be praised than to be condemned so for most of my childhood,i decided to behave.Do things that would please my parents.I do not know if it was the unimplied message that i should always be home or the fact that i had a natural engraved  love affair  with reading that drove me to read a lot in my childhood.My mother says,she sent me to indergarden at the age of two.I can barely remember those years.I do know though that the first story i remember reading was about David and Goliath,I envisioned myself being little David,bringing down this giant of a giant.It did not matter to me that i was a girl.My gender was never an issue till later in life when people made it apparent that to some extent they did not expect me to perform certain ''male duties''.I am not sure why i loved school,perhaps it was my mother's packed egg,tomato and onion sandwhiches or her candy coated apples that made me a loyal school attendee.On the other hand,i want to believe that even without those fancy foods,i would have still gone to school faithfully.My mother  once  told my brother and i that she would pack ''delele'',( a kind of relish from my culture for us ) to school,that most children would be ashamed to take to school in the midst of peers who took nicer foods.I am told i responded with an outmost modest kind of empathy that my own mother was schoked to have brought such a loving kind soul to the earth.My brother,being outspoken and perhaps not wanting to let down his status quo with his kindergarten friends,told my mother boldly that if she did,he was not going to school at all.I was more passive,accepting things as they are,my brother did not accept things he didnt like.I find mysel drawn to people like my brother today,for instance i have a friend called Neo,she tells people what she doesnt want forthrightly.Even though i dont always like her boldness,i admire her courage to stand up for herself.I admire myself too,for being able to accomodate people from various backgrounds  and accept situations the way they are.It is through this,that i have come to accept that differences are not essentially bad.My head start in reading gave me a kind of leverage in my school going years.I knew things that most of my peers didnt know.This made me a teacher's pet.Books always depict teacher's pets as hated by the rest of the class.If my class mates hated me,i was oblivious to it.My friends sometimes say,i have eyes but i do not see.I am the kind of a person who could have a devil standing right in front of me ,and i would see an angel.I dont know why,but that is who i am.My dad,used to say people would take advantage of me when i grew up.I am not sure if they have,if they did i probaly did not notice it.Other friends,Skye,Veronica and of course the butterfly Neo,admonish me whenever i talk to strangers and sometimes give them my number without thinking.They say i will die young.I try to take heed of their advice but most times by the time i remember i am not supposed to smile to strangers,especially strange men,and that i am not supposed in any given circumstance  to give my number to anybody,especially tattoed men,men with dread locks,men with gold in their teeth,or any strange looking fellow for that matter,its already too late.The deal has been sealed.Its only by the grace of God that i am where i am today,never have been attacked.God has done mighty and wonderful things in my life.Some so exceptional that i sometimes wake up to pinch myself asking if that was really me.One of the things he did was make  me an overall best student in countrywide examination twice.Something i barely talk about,not out of embarrassment but rather out of a recognition that had it not been ochestrated by the mighty hand of God i would not have made it on my own.A close friend was awestruck by this,a few days ago when he found out about it.He asked me plainly,how come he didnt know about it,and he also asked me one question that got me thinking and perhaps a little sad for a past that was now  lost,where had my intelligience dissappeared to.I wanted to tell him that,after six years of a title having come and gone,i did not see the need to publicise a past achievement.It was the past and i live for the present.I always wanted to tell him that,maybe,its true that girls get dumb as they grow old,lol..just kidding,but the thought crossed my mind! I wanted to tell him,i had started dating.(my dad is not aware of this,so please ont tell him just yet)Dating according to my philosophy drops one's IQ by 10percent,so he should not blame me for my low IQ,boys had played a major role in distracting me from my goals(its a blessing that he doesnt read my notes,im sure i would get dumped on the first day of the year. to save me from academic demise.lol.).People ask me what my parents did for me after the achievements.It never occured to me that they must do anything.Perpahs its because they anticipated this from my past academic record.To them it was never a suprise.My mom says ,in my first week of kindergarten,we were taught how to write and say our names and surnames.At the time ,I was a Wada Mbulawa and i caught on so fast and chanted the line over and over again that by the end of the week every child in the class room called themselves a Wada Mbulawa who was six years old,to the extent that parents wanted to meet this Wada Mbulawa who was so influential to their kids.I jokingly tell my friends that i was created for fame,having being a six year old celebrity in a small village like Maitengwe,something that would follow me for a considerable period in my life.I still meet people,yo this day,who know who i am and whom i have no clue who they are.If i feel like  i have met th epeson before,i pretend i still remember them and chat away with them like old friends.It works.By the time we finish i usually have listened to them well to pick upimportant clues as to who they are.I never thought i would pen down my own autobiography but i have considerable promptings from some people to do so.Knowing me,i said ,what the hell,its just my life after all.i can write accuratey about it,i am the one who has lived it,right?Not so though,from my point of view,It seems like a daunting task,to let people know who you are from your own eyes.To some extent i dont think anyone can fully ever know who i am,i have my little secrets,my little faults,my little remarkable things i may never tell you.I call it the preservation of the self,and the preservation of people who i have shared this journey with,and so i can only tell you what i am comfortable sharing,things i know you wont judge me harshly on,things i think are  interesting and somethings you will only learn best from my enemies.I know that the best person who you can learn about yourself is your enemy,they know your greatest faults ad weaknesses.I wish i had a self proclaimed enemy,but to the little knowledge i have,i have none.