every where i look i see hard working people and lazy people--and i ask myself,how can i be skillfully lazy like that.
i mean being hard working is easy...you just have to get up first thing in the morning and find something to do,but being lazy and sticking to it by choice is hard,first you have to convince your stomach in the morning that you don't need breakfast to actually stay in bed,and well come up with a million reasons why the bathroom is far to reach and you can actually hold everything in that is fighting to come out.now that is really hard when your goal is to not work at all.
now,you know word gets around when you decide to go professionally lazy ,work just gets jealous and it sends you temptation after temptation, job offers,like seriously,your mama starts finding you jobs around the house,then you cousin's cousin's cousin's calls you with a job offer,and when you go do the job for a week and decide no,you have to be true to yourself and do nothing at all ,all day,and yes they fire you,and you are happy cause according to your goals,you are THE employee of the month,you didn't work at all,and that is really great news, but then your victory is short-lived cause your younger brother whose lived his whole life trying to meet your mama's expectations finds you a job and your long lost uncle talks to a friend's friend who tries to help him patch family issues by getting you another job,and this will make your mama real happy,so you are emotionally bullied into taking this job,
but at this new job you gotta real do work and you wonder why things never work out good for you,i mean all you ever wanted was sleep,eat and laugh all day and be a couch potato,its only fair for somebody to fill the post of couch potato,we should not discriminate one job from another ,after all,if you stop you could just disrupt the job chain,pringles and lays could lose their potato chip making business,and all those soapie actors wont have anyone cheering for them and watching all the hard work they put in,what about the plus size tailors making clothes,they could run out of business and we both know you have a good heart to let that happen.
and like you don't get why some people who are seriously looking for a job never get one,but for you people go out of their way to find you one,even when you tell them you are not looking for one,you don't need one,your mama's pension is just enough,and you are like seriously,this guys cant they see ,you are completely happy living this kinda life.so you decide you must just lie still to figure out new skills for you to be proffessionally lazy-starting with developing a 1 month patience and tolerance to rotting garbage,withstanding dirty clothes..now all those hard working people think they understand love and tolerance but you certainly can teach them a thing or two..you are even better than them at finding lost things,they cant find simple stuff even when they are organised but you,you can find a long lost sock through a pile of dirty clothes....talk about skill.
and you have very good manners,no one ever tells you to not pick up your phone during dinner-cause you never pick it up anyway,its just to much work...i mean 3310 is heavy and your arms are just to fragile for that kinda weight--so you see-people should understand how serious being lazy is,and they should support you,it takes so much will,and effort and determination to be lazy against all odds.
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