To, ''I'm sorry''

To I'm sorry
This is not a pity poem
Honestly i'm past that
I remember the first time I heard of you
You arrived in center stage,on an old  page
 torn from an ancient notebook contained within a self made envelope
scribbled in a blue pen that leaked red sometimes
wondered if you knew how you let the bruises that fed my revenge fall  free
from sitting in the gut of my gut
 in that moment of hate-giving-to-the-weight-of-let-go
I knew what sincere looked like for the first time
knew exactly what people meant when they said some things money can't buy
but sometimes
you sit there staring with watery eyes
and often you don't have to say anything
except to offer your guilt and i will never do it again
in this lonely silence we can take away by breathing out the regret
sometimes
you are the most beautiful sign
dangling in scent color and card
but even then
sometimes we both know pretty isn't enough
and roses die
but hurt can leave an unforgetable  scar
sometimes you look cold outside
but your truth pierces warm
thaws away this worry that hangs above me
from frozen tears that now fall free
and you call me
to catch your outstretched hand for peace
and sometimes i let go of my thoughts
that roll back and forth in fists
to wipe away your crocodile tears
as you acknowledge my deepest fear
that perhaps this time you did it intentionally
but when you sit beside me
listen to the hum of my hurt
understand the depth of the valley you have taken me into
i know
you'll know
when i know
You are Sorry